give them the chance to triumph(ˈtrīəmf)

middle schoolers and self-doubt(dout)

By Henry H. Walker

an advisee(ədˌvīˈzē, ˌadˌvīˈzē) blurts(blərt) out:
“Why are middle schoolers so anxious(ˈaNG(k)SHəs)
about performing in front of others?”
some answer they don’t know,
one answers that it’s simple:
“They are middle schoolers.”
I answer that in the middle school ages,
people click into a new understanding,
a new realization(ˌrē(ə)ləˈzāSHən) of self,
and self in relation to others,

rather than empowering(əmˈpou(ə)r) the optimist(ˈäptəməst) within,
too often such a change empowers the pessimist(ˈpesəməst) within,
the syndrome(ˈsinˌdrōm) of the imposter(imˈpästər) can permeate(ˈpərmēˌāt) them,
the fear that changes without and within
are distorting(dəˈstôrt) the formerly(ˈfôrmərlē) unblemished(ˌənˈblemiSHt) child
into a budding(ˈbədiNG) adult with acne(ˈaknē) on the face and in the soul,

the face and body that were perfect for parent and grandparent,
distorted toward the wrong,
and they fear what others see in them,
for each cannot see self in a real mirror(ˈmirər),
but instead they see self in a funhouse mirror,
all wrong and funny-looking,
what a school needs to do
is to accurately(ˈakyərətlē) mirror back to the student
the extraordinary(ikˈstrôrdnˌerē,ˌekstrəˈôrdn-) self that is already there,
and can become even better
if believed in by others, and by the self itself,

beware(bəˈwer) the smudge(sməj), the flaw(flô) in the view,
believe in the new which builds upon the old,
and can triumph if but given the chance.

https://henryspoetry.blogspot.com/2019/10/give-them-chance-to-triumph.html

Working for Free

By Steve Pavlina

Many people ask me how they can start generating(ˈjenəˌrāt) income from a new line of work, especially work that is highly creative or artistic(ärˈtistik). Some have already created quite a bit of content like albums(ˈalbəm) or books or paintings(ˈpān(t)iNG), but they aren’t making any money from it. Some have a decent(ˈdēsənt) level of skill, but they don’t have any customers or clients and don’t know how to get people to start paying them.

I usually tell such people to stop focusing on trying to get money and to focus instead of delivering(dəˈlivər) value. I point out that creating a work of art or building a skill provides(prəˈvīd) no value to anyone, so it won’t generate income. Sharing your creations or skills with others, however, is what delivers value, and therein lies(lī) the potential to generate income from your work.

If you’ve created an album, a book, or a painting, how many people are enjoying it each day? If it’s sitting in a box in your garage(-ˈräj,gəˈräZH), there’s no income potential because no value is being delivered.

One of the best ways to show people the value of your work is to share it with them for free. This minimizes(ˈminəˌmīz) other people’s risk and makes it easier for them to receive your value. In this manner(ˈmanər) you can start sharing your value immediately(iˈmēdēətlē).

For example, if you want to start generating income as a web site developer(dəˈveləpər), focus on sharing your skills for free. Invite(inˈvīt) as much free web work as you can manage. Ask for referrals(rəˈfərəl). Focus on clients where you can deliver a lot of value in a fairly(ˈfe(ə)rlē) short period(ˈpi(ə)rēəd) of time by working from your strengths(streNG(k)TH,strenTH). Decline(dəˈklīn) any clients that aren’t a good fit for you. If you’re halfway decent at what you do, you should have no shortage(ˈSHôrdij) of small businesses willing to let you help them for free. Once you start getting more qualified(ˈkwäləˌfīd) free referrals than you can handle, you can start charging a fair price for your work. Some of your free clients will probably become paid clients if you impressed them, and you should also benefit from ongoing referrals.

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/12/working-for-free/

Review of “Cool Hand Luke(lo͞ok)”

By Roger Ebert

All these years after the release of “Cool Hand Luke” in 1967, all you have to do is say, “What we have here is–failure to communicate.” Everyone knows the line, and everyone can identify the film, even those who may not have seen it. And here’s the curious(ˈkyo͝orēəs) part. As they make the connection, they’ll invariably(inˈve(ə)rēəblē) smile, as if recalling a pleasant(ˈplezənt) experience, a good time at the movies. Have you seen “Cool Hand Luke” lately? I have. Rarely(ˈre(ə)rlē) has an important movie star suffered more, in a film wall-to-wall with physical punishment(ˈpəniSHmənt), psychological cruelty(ˈkro͞oəltē), hopelessness and equal parts of sadism(ˈsāˌdizəm) and masochism(ˈmasəˌkizəm,ˈmaz-).

It is a great film. On that most of us can agree. But such a film could not possibly be made in more recent decades, not one starring Brad(brad) Pitt or Tom Cruise(kro͞oz) or other actors comparable to Paul Newman’s stature(ˈstaCHər). It is simply too painful. I can imagine a voice at a studio pitch(piCH) meeting: “Nobody wants to see that.” Much was made by many critics(ˈkridik), myself included, of Newman’s “anti-hero” stature in “Luke” and other films he made around the same time: “The Hustler(ˈhəslər),” “Hud(həd),” even “Butch(bo͝oCH) Cassidy and the Sundance(ˈsən ˌdans) Kid.” I’m no longer sure he’s an anti-hero in “Cool Hand Luke.” I think he’s more of a willing martyr(ˈmärdər), a man so obsessed(əbˈses) with the wrongness of the world that he invites(inˈvīt) death to prove himself correct. Louis Armstrong once said, “There are some folks(fōk) that, if they don’t know, you can’t tell ‘em.” The brutal(ˈbro͞odl) guards(gärd) who rule the work camp(kamp) where Luke is a prisoner(ˈpriz(ə)nər) demonstrate time and again that if he escapes, he will be captured and punished to within an inch(inCH) of his life. Since he knows that, is he is seeking punishment?

…
https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/great-movie-cool-hand-luke-1967

How to escape the ‘hyperactive(ˌhīpərˈaktiv) hivemind(hīv)’ of modern work

By William(ˈwilyəm) Park

The constant ping of messages that keep us plugged into work chatter(ˈCHadər) might be doing more harm than good. We feel we must respond – it is about work, after all. But always being switched on means we never have the chance to think deeply. And that is a problem for companies that want to get the most out of their employees(emˈploi-ē,ˌemploiˈē).

The next great revolution in the office will need to correct this, according to one man who wants to reset(rēˈset) the way we work. He believes that the value someone can bring to a company will be judged not by their skill, but by their ability to focus. But how do we find the time to shut off distractions and do our best work?

Our workplaces are set up for convenience(kənˈvēnyəns), not to get the best out of our brains(brān), says Cal Newport, bestselling author of books including Deep Work and Digital Minimalism(ˈminəməˌlizəm), and a Georgetown(ˈjôrjˌtoun) University professor(prəˈfesər). In knowledge sector(ˈsektər) jobs, where products are created using human intelligence(inˈteləjəns) rather than machines, we must be switched on at all times and prepared to multitask. These are two things that are not compatible(kəmˈpadəb(ə)l) with deep, creative, insightful(inˈsītfəl) thinking.

“In knowledge work, the main resource is the human brain and its ability to produce new information with value,” says Newport. “But we are not good at getting a good return.”

Some people swear(swe(ə)r) by multitasking even when we intuitively(inˈt(y)o͞oədivlē) know that our brains struggle to concentrate(ˈkänsənˌtrāt) on more than one thing at a time. Psychologists(sīˈkäləjəst) thought that busy multitaskers possessed abnormal(abˈnôrməl) control over their attention. But evidence suggests that multitaskers do not have a particular gift for being able to juggle multiple projects. In fact, in many cognitive(ˈkäɡnədiv) tasks, heavy multitaskers underperform. Our brains have a limited capacity(kəˈpasədē) for what they can work on at any given moment. And using tricks to cram(kram) as much into our working day as possible might be doing more harm than good.

…
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20190715-how-to-escape-the-hyperactive-hivemind-of-modern-work

Transforming Overwhelm(ˌōvərˈ(h)welm) & Burden(ˈbərdn) to Something Powerful

By Leo Babauta

How many of you have felt overwhelmed recently by everything you have to do?

How many of you have felt something you have to do — or everything you have to do — as a burden?

Many of us feel everything we have to do as burden, as overwhelm. It stems(stem) from how we look at the world: it’s hard, it’s difficulty to bear(be(ə)r), and things are crashing(ˈkraSHiNG) down around us.

This is not said judgmentally(ˌjəjˈmen(t)l), but with compassion(kəmˈpaSHən) — almost all of us see things this way. It feels like it’s programming that’s hardwired(härdˈwī(ə)rd) into us.

But it’s changeable. It starts by shifting how we see the world.

Instead of seeing the world as burden, can we see it as gift?

Instead of seeing the world as difficulty and struggle(ˈstrəgəl), can we see it as possibility and opportunity?

Instead of thinking we have too much to do, can we see the joy in each task? And see that a pile(pīl) of tasks, then, is an abundance(əˈbəndəns) of joy and possibility?

Because yes, we have a huge amount of tasks to do, and we feel like we don’t have enough time to do them all. But we all have the same amount of time, and all we can do is one task at a time. There’s no way around this.

We can get better at choosing which tasks to do (prioritizing(prīˈôrəˌtīz,ˈprīərə-)), but in the end there’s never any certainty that we’re doing the exact right tasks. We can expand our capabilities through automation, delegation and outsourcing, but experience tells us that even doing all of that, we still have too many tasks to do. The problem doesn’t go away with these kinds of tricks.

The amount of tasks isn’t the problem, because we’ll always have too many to do. The problem comes partly from overcommitting(ˌōvərkəˈmit) to too much, but even if we get better at that, we often still feel overwhelm and burden.

The only real solution is a change in mindset. To see everything we have to do as a gift, as possibility and opportunity, as an abundance of joy.

We can implement systems, get good at prioritizing, get more focused, outsource and delegate and simplify and commit to doing less … but in the end, burden and overwhelm won’t go away until we shift the mindset.

So here’s the practice:

When you experiencing overwhelm, burden, or fear, pause and feel it. Let yourself be fully with it, experience it, feel it fully, and open up to it. Can you be curious(ˈkyo͝orēəs) about it? Can you find a way to love this feeling?
See if you can see the tasks in front of you as a gift. You choose to do these because you want to. They are benefitting you and others. Do them with love, and be grateful(ˈgrātfəl) for the gift of each one.
See if you can see the possibility and opportunity in each one. What can be done with them? How are they more open and vast than you feel them to be?
Can you experience the abundance of joy in your pile(pīl) of tasks? If each one is a joyful gift, then isn’t there pure abundance in this pile? You can reach into the pile and pull out an opportunity for joy, growth, and giving your gift to the world.

Mindset shifts aren’t something we can just flip like a switch. They need to be consciously(ˈkänSHəslē) practiced(ˈpraktəst). Can you see the possibilities in this practice?

https://zenhabits.net/transforming-burden/

Should I force my son to take Saturday(ˈsadərˌdā, ˈsadərdē) morning Chinese classes?

By Valerie Lam-Bentley

As a kid, I had a love-hate(hāt) relationship with playing the piano and Chinese lessons. The importance of both was drilled(dril) into me by my parents whether I enjoyed them or not. And since they interfered(ˌintərˈfi(ə)r) with my Friday nights and after-school social times, I resented(rəˈzent) both.

Why couldn’t I join my friends who didn’t have to sit through Chinese classes or practice hours and hours at a piano? In typical(ˈtipikəl) Chinese fashion(ˈfaSHən), I fumed(fyo͞om) silently but obeyed(ōˈbā) outwardly(ˈoutwərdlē), dutifully(ˈd(y)o͞odəfəlē) attending years of mandatory(ˈmandəˌtôrē) “enhanced extracurricular(ˌekstrəkəˈrikyələr) education,” which also included study strategy and math class.

Growing up CBC – that’s Canadian-born Chinese – to parents who came from Hong Kong, I was quick to shed(SHed) my ancestral(anˈsestrəl) identity in order to be accepted by my Canadian peers. Once when I was 12, I was admitted into Toronto’s(təˈräntō) Hospital for Sick(sik) Children and thought I was in heaven, eating hospital dinners of meatloaf(lōf), mac and cheese and chicken fingers instead of the steamed(stēmd) rice, bok choy(ˈbäk ˈCHoi) and braised(brāz) black bean spare(spe(ə)r) ribs(rib) my mom would make at home.

Since diversity(dəˈvərsədē, dīˈvərsədē) is viewed as a strength in Canada, it wasn’t too long into early adulthood(əˈdəltho͝od, ˈadəltho͝od) when I started to reclaim(riˈklām) the Chinese parts of my identity, which I had eschewed(əsˈCHo͞o, iˈSHo͞o) earlier in life.

Now I am a mother. And from this vantage(ˈvan(t)ij) point, it’s clear that I took those piano lessons and Chinese classes for granted(ˈgrantid). Not only did they teach me how to play the piano and communicate in Cantonese(ˌkantəˈnēz), but they also taught me discipline and the opposite(ˈäpəzət) of instant gratification(ˌɡradəfəˈkāSH(ə)n) since both skills take years to master. Looking back, my parents only did what they thought was best for my sister and me. Now, when I look at my son, the “musts(məst)” my parents impressed upon me are also finding its way to him.

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-should-i-force-my-son-to-take-saturday-morning-chinese-classes/

Travel(ˈtravəl) without a phone

By Derek Sivers

The first time, it was an accident(ˈaksədənt).

I’d always wanted to go to Korea(kəˈrēə). I was so excited. I set out to explore and forgot my phone in the hotel.

I walked around Seoul(sōl) for twelve hours that day and experienced so many wonderful things. I remember them all vividly(ˈvividlē) now, years later, but I have no photos of it.

It was a relief(rəˈlēf) to not document everything. I appreciated(əˈprēSHēˌāt) everything as a one-step process instead of a two-step process. I could just feel amazed, instead of feel amazed and hold up my camera to record it. Besides, how often do I look at those photos later, anyway? I find it more useful to refer to my journal of how I felt, instead of what I saw.

A few times, GPS could have helped, but because I didn’t have it, I had to go ask strangers for directions. Getting lost led me down some great little back roads I never would have found if I was following the map.

So now I intentionally(inˈtenCHənlē) travel without a phone.

I feel free and untethered(ˌənˈteT͟Hər). A break from connection.

Where you are is partially(ˈpärSHəlē) defined by where you are not. When you’re somewhere, you’re not somewhere else. But when you use your phone, you’re everywhere. You keep in touch with friends. You hear what’s going on at home. You see the screen exactly as you do anywhere else.

It’s wonderful to be cut off from everywhere else — to be more fully only there.

And it’s so nice to not know the time or where I am. Clocks and maps are useful inventions, but I see a moment better without them.

I appreciate a moment more when I know I’ll never see it again. I remember that day in Seoul better than I remember most photo-filled travels.

https://sivers.org/tp1

Halloween(-ōˈēn,ˌhaləˈwēn,ˌhälə-)

by 王渊源John

I have a lot of fun memories of Halloween from my childhood. When I was a little kid, our neighborhood would often arrange(əˈrānj) a “hay(hā) ride(rīd)”. One of our neighbors would fill a trailer(ˈtrālər) with hay and pull it along with his tractor(ˈtraktər). The neighborhood kids would sit in the trailer and ride along.

Of course, many of my Halloween memories involve trick(trik)-or-treating(trēt). We would knock on our neighbor’s door and say “trick or treat!?”, and they would give us candy(ˈkandē). Supposedly(səˈpōzədlē) the idea is that if they don’t give you a “treat”, you would play a “trick” on them, but the people whose doors I knocked on always had candy, so I never had to think up a trick. The most common tricks that kids talked about, though, were rubbing(ˈrəbiNG) soap(sōp) on a house’s windows, throwing eggs at a house, and covering a house in toilet(ˈtoilit) paper. To be honest, even if someone hadn’t given me candy, I don’t think I would have been interested in playing a trick.

Along with procuring(prō-,prəˈkyo͝or) the candy, I also have memories of a belly(ˈbelē) full of candy in the days following Halloween. My parents didn’t usually have candy in the house, so we would gorge(gôrj) ourselves following halloween. Usually, after finishing my halloween candy, I didn’t want to eat candy again for a long time!

One Halloween, a neighbor invited(inˈvīt) me to go trick-or-treating with him and his family in another neighborhood. I never figured out what costume(ˈkäsˌt(y)o͞om) I wanted to wear, so I called at the last minute to cancel. A few minutes later, my friend’s mom called back to say that my friend was really disappointed, and kind of upset, that I had cancelled at the last minute, leaving him with no one to trick-or-treat with! She said that they had an extra costume, and that I was welcome to use it.

So that Halloween I went as Cookie Monster, and we had a great time.

My wife will tell you that this story shows how I have never stopped putting things off until the last minute, but it also reminds me that Halloween isn’t about having the perfect costume or planning the perfect event; it’s about having fun with friends and family.

Good Morning and Happy Halloween!

The Downside of Having a Sweet Tooth

Regular(ˈreg(ə)lər,ˈregyələr) consumption(kənˈsəm(p)SHən) of sugary(ˈSHo͝ogərē) drinks heightens(ˈhītn) the risk(risk) not only of tooth decay(dəˈkā), obesity(ōˈbēsədē), fatty(ˈfadē) liver(ˈlivər) disease and Type 2 diabetes(ˌdīəˈbēdēz, ˌdīəˈbēdis), but also of heart(härt) disease(dəˈzēz) and premature(-ˈt(y)o͝or,ˌprēməˈCHo͝or) death.

By Jane(jān) E. Brody(rō)

Sweet dreams, sweet spot(spät), sweet as pie(pī), sweet young thing: All have a positive connotation(ˌkänəˈtāSHən). But what about sweet tooth, which Americans seem to have cultivated(ˈkəltəˌvādəd) to great excess(ikˈses,ˈekses)? The health effects(əˈfekt) of this obsession(əbˈseSHən) with everything sweet are anything but positive.

In fact, recent reports have found that regular consumption of sugary drinks heightens the risk not only of tooth decay, obesity, fatty liver disease and Type 2 diabetes, but also of heart disease and premature death, even in people free of other risk factors.

You may have encountered contrary(ˈkäntrerē) findings — reports that seemed to exonerate(igˈzänəˌrāt) sugar consumption as a health hazard(ˈhazərd). Companies that produce sugar-laden(ˈlādn) foods and drinks would like you to believe that ailments(ˈālmənt) linked to sugars result from excess calories(ˈkal(ə)rē), not sugars themselves. Don’t believe them; most reports holding sugar blameless(ˈblāmləs) are from sources(sôrs) tied directly or indirectly to financial(fī-,fəˈnanCHəl) support from the industries that depend on caloric(kəˈlôrik, kəˈlärik) sweeteners(ˈswētn-ər,ˈswētnər).

For example, one prominent(ˈprämənənt) contrarian(kän-,kənˈtre(ə)rēən), Dr. James(jāmz) M. Rippe, has received a monthly retainer(rəˈtānər) from the Corn(kôrn) Refiners(rəˈfīnər) Association(-SHē-,əˌsōsēˈāSHən), whose members produce high-fructose(-ˌtōz,ˈfro͝ok-,ˈfrəkˌtōs) corn syrup(ˈsirəp) and which provided $10 million for his lab’s studies that found fructose to be no more hazardous(ˈhazərdəs) than the natural blood sugar, glucose(ˈglo͞okōs). To a layperson(ˈlāˌpərsən) unfamiliar(ˌənfəˈmilyər) with subtle(ˈsədl) nutritional(n(y)o͞oˈtriSHənl, n(y)o͞oˈtriSHnəl) influences(ˈinflo͝oəns), these and similar findings may appear convincing(kənˈvinsiNG), but they rarely(ˈre(ə)rlē) survive independent scientific scrutiny(ˈskro͞otnē). More about this later.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/22/well/eat/the-downside-of-having-a-sweet-tooth.html

Ignore advice that drains(drān) you.

By Derek Sivers

My music career was derailed(dēˈrāl) when I took some advice from an expert.

When my own music was at its peak success, a famous lawyer(ˈloi-ər,ˈlôyər) said he wanted to work with me. He said I should start a label, sign(sīn) a few other artists, make them successful too. Then instead of getting me a simple artist deal, he could help me get a deal for the entire label for over a million dollars.

I walked out of his office sad, but acknowledging that he was right. That was the smartest thing to do to be a big success. So that’s what I did. I stopped putting my full attention into my own music, and tried to sign and produce other artists.

I spent two long years on this. But the whole time, I hated it! I only loved my own music. I only wanted to be an artist, not a label.

So, as you can imagine, it didn’t go well. My label was a failure(ˈfālyər), and my own music career lost momentum(mōˈmentəm,mə-) because I lost focus.

I wish I had paid attention to my emotions, and not wasted(ˈwāstəd) years of my life following someone’s advice.

Point is: You’re going to hear a lot of advice. Listen to it all, but pay close attention to what it does to your energy(ˈenərjē) and focus. If it makes you jump into action, it’s good advice. If it makes you feel drained, sad, or lost, then it’s not for you.

https://sivers.org/drain