Should I force my son to take Saturday morning Chinese classes?

Should I force my son to take Saturday(ˈsadərˌdā, ˈsadərdē) morning Chinese classes?

By Valerie Lam-Bentley

As a kid, I had a love-hate(hāt) relationship with playing the piano and Chinese lessons. The importance of both was drilled(dril) into me by my parents whether I enjoyed them or not. And since they interfered(ˌintərˈfi(ə)r) with my Friday nights and after-school social times, I resented(rəˈzent) both.

Why couldn’t I join my friends who didn’t have to sit through Chinese classes or practice hours and hours at a piano? In typical(ˈtipikəl) Chinese fashion(ˈfaSHən), I fumed(fyo͞om) silently but obeyed(ōˈbā) outwardly(ˈoutwərdlē), dutifully(ˈd(y)o͞odəfəlē) attending years of mandatory(ˈmandəˌtôrē) “enhanced extracurricular(ˌekstrəkəˈrikyələr) education,” which also included study strategy and math class.

Growing up CBC – that’s Canadian-born Chinese – to parents who came from Hong Kong, I was quick to shed(SHed) my ancestral(anˈsestrəl) identity in order to be accepted by my Canadian peers. Once when I was 12, I was admitted into Toronto’s(təˈräntō) Hospital for Sick(sik) Children and thought I was in heaven, eating hospital dinners of meatloaf(lōf), mac and cheese and chicken fingers instead of the steamed(stēmd) rice, bok choy(ˈbäk ˈCHoi) and braised(brāz) black bean spare(spe(ə)r) ribs(rib) my mom would make at home.

Since diversity(dəˈvərsədē, dīˈvərsədē) is viewed as a strength in Canada, it wasn’t too long into early adulthood(əˈdəltho͝od, ˈadəltho͝od) when I started to reclaim(riˈklām) the Chinese parts of my identity, which I had eschewed(əsˈCHo͞o, iˈSHo͞o) earlier in life.

Now I am a mother. And from this vantage(ˈvan(t)ij) point, it’s clear that I took those piano lessons and Chinese classes for granted(ˈgrantid). Not only did they teach me how to play the piano and communicate in Cantonese(ˌkantəˈnēz), but they also taught me discipline and the opposite(ˈäpəzət) of instant gratification(ˌɡradəfəˈkāSH(ə)n) since both skills take years to master. Looking back, my parents only did what they thought was best for my sister and me. Now, when I look at my son, the “musts(məst)” my parents impressed upon me are also finding its way to him.

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https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-should-i-force-my-son-to-take-saturday-morning-chinese-classes/