The Practice of Trust(trəst)

By Leo Babauta

In this chaotic(kāˈädik) world, we worry, we avoid, we try so hard to “do it right.”

At the heart of it, all of that worry and anxiety(aNGˈzīədē) is because we cannot trust.

We don’t trust others: we judge them and try to tell them how to live their lives, we get frustrated(ˈfrəˌstrādəd) with them when they don’t do things the way we think they should.

We don’t trust ourselves: we avoid saying things because we don’t think we can handle it if they get upset, we try to get things just right because we don’t think we can handle failure(ˈfālyər) or being judged.

We don’t trust the world, so we’re constantly anxious about it all.

There’s nothing wrong with that — we’re human. We’re wired to see threats(THret) everywhere.

But what would it be like to practice trust?

Trust others to live their lives. When we’re frustrated with them or judging them, we can remind ourselves to practice trusting them, remind ourselves that we can’t control everyone’s behavior nor do we really know for sure how anyone else should act. Heck(hek), I don’t even know for sure how I should act!

Trust myself to deal with whatever happens. Pandemic, lockdowns, political(pəˈlidək(ə)l) strife(strīf), all kinds of difficulty has come our way, and we are surviving(sərˈvīviNG). Trust myself to handle whatever chaos arrives, whatever failure might happen, whatever difficulty comes.

What would it be like, to practice this kind of surrender(səˈrendər) and trust?

https://zenhabits.net/trust-fall/

How to Make Sense of Scents(sent)

Can language ever capture the mysterious(məˈstirēəs) world of smells?

By Rachel Syme

My obsession(əbˈseSHən) with perfume(ˈpərˌfyo͞om) began when I was around ten years old, spritzing(sprits) on layer after layer of my mother’s Anaïs Anaïs and Poison(ˈpoiz(ə)n), until I reeked of a duty-free store. It continued through my mall-rat(rat) teen-age years, when I blew through my babysitting tips at Bath & Body Works, convinced that I could amplify(ˈampləˌfī) my personality with a generous dose of Sun-Ripened(ˈrīpən) Raspberry(ˈrazˌberē). Throughout my twenties, I collected hundreds of fragrance(ˈfrāɡrəns) samples, bought for less than five dollars apiece(əˈpēs) from Web sites with names like the Perfumed Court and Surrender to Chance. Tiny glass vials(ˈvī(ə)l) of liquid(ˈlikwid) tuberose(ˈt(y)o͞obəˌrōs) regularly spilled(spil) out of my coat pockets. So when an editor at a newspaper for which I occasionally wrote about hair and beauty trends asked me if I had anything to say about perfume, I told her I did. I assumed that the main requisite(ˈrekwəzət) for the task was personal experience, not technical expertise(ˌekspərˈtēz); surely I already had the vocabulary(vōˈkabyəˌlerē) for detailing the scentscapes I’d been wandering for years. I knew I loved the smell of violets(ˈvī(ə)lət)—their chalky(ˈCHôkē), chocolate undertones. Or I thought I knew. Sitting down at my keyboard, I began to waver. Was it more like talcum(ˈtalkəm) powder and linden(ˈlindən) honey? Or like a Barbie(ˈbärbē)-doll(däl) head sprinkled(ˈspriNGk(ə)l) with lemonade(ˌleməˈnād)?

Talking about smells can feel a little like talking about dreams—often tedious(ˈtēdēəs), rarely satisfying. The olfactory(älˈfakt(ə)rē) world is more private(ˈprīvit) than we may think: even when we share space, such as a particularly ripe(rīp) subway car, one commuter(kəˈmyo͞odər) may describe eau d’armpit(ˈärmˌpit) as sweet Gorgonzola(ˌɡôrɡənˈzōlə) cheese, another will detect rotting(rät) pumpkin(ˈpəm(p)kən), and a third a barnyardy(ˈbärnˌyärd), cayenne(ˌkāˈ(y)en) tang(taNG). What surprised me is that using phrases(frāz) like “barnyardy, cayenne tang” is a perfectly valid(ˈvaləd), even preferred, way to write about nasal(ˈnāzəl) experiences.

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https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/02/01/how-to-make-sense-of-scents

I drive a school bus, and I love my job

By Michael Morgan

My first pick up is at 6:53 a.m. with a busload of sleepy(ˈslēpē) high-school students who will, if prompted(präm(p)t), return a pallid(ˈpaləd) “good morning” with a quick mumble(ˈməmbəl) but nothing more. They’re headed for the ferry(ˈferē) to attend classes on the mainland. High-school kids capture my heart because they look and want to be treated as adults and are long past, if not embarrassed(əmˈberəst) by, any show of affection such as an early morning send-off from family committees(kəˈmidē) of mothers, fathers or baby brothers and sisters waving and wishing them well as they depart for their day.

There is one cheerful(ˈCHirfəl) fellow in Grade 9 who receives a big send-off every morning and it’s heartwarming how his family unabashedly(ənəˈbaSHədlē) waves their encouragement as he boards the bus. The rest of the teenagers onboard take note of this daily event. These teens have their adult faces on, even though they are still very much kids inside. And those faces are wistful(ˈwis(t)fəl) at times like these.

One fellow who graduates elementary(ˌeləˈment(ə)rē) school in June is champing at the bit to get into high school. He spends every day telling the little kids on the bus stories of what to expect when they grow up like him. He is 12 and a man of the world now who knows all the teachers and their various habits and behaviours, likes and dislikes. He is an oracle who holds the young ones spellbound on the morning magic carpet(ˈkärpət) ride(rīd) to Bowen(ˈbōən) Island Community School.

…

I will keep driving through fierce(firs) weather on these rocky rural(ˈro͝orəl) paths, with no streetlights or sidewalks, grateful that I have a window into the little lives that put their trust in me to take them home.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-i-drive-a-school-bus-and-i-love-my-job/

One Browser(ˈbrouzər) Tab Only

By Steve Pavlina

It scares me when people tell me they have 10+ web browser tabs regularly open at the same time. For some it’s well into the dozens. This isn’t intelligent behavior; it will have a negative impact on your mental functioning if you make this a habit.

How is it possible to have 10+ browser tabs open regularly and not have some part of you crying out to learn single-handling?

You probably don’t even see how distracted your mind is while doing this. If you’ve been doing this long enough, it may even seem normal for you. That’s a dreadful(ˈdredfəl) situation to find yourself in. I suggest you break the habit.

Each tab is an open loop. Each tab is a distraction from the task you’re focused on – if you can even call a multi-tabbed life focused at all. Each tab weakens your self-discipline(ˈdisəplən).

Look at all those open tabs and say to yourself, “This is NOT intelligent behavior. This is weakness. This is distraction. This is indecision(ˌindəˈsiZH(ə)n). It’s time to put a STOP to this.”

Here’s a challenge for you. Do a 30-day trial(ˈtrī(ə)l) of using only one browser tab. Never open a second tab during that month.

One tab is plenty.

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https://stevepavlina.com/blog/2020/12/one-browser-tab-only/

How to Decide

Simple Tools for Making Better Choices

by Annie Duke

Introduction

You make thousands of decisions every day—some big, some small. Some clearly of great consequence, like what job to take. And some clearly of little consequence, like what to eat for breakfast(ˈbrekfəst).

No ，matter what type of decision you’re facing, it’s imperative(əmˈperədiv) to develop a decision process that not only improves your decision quality, but also helps sort your decisions so you can identify which ones are bigger and which ones are smaller.

Why is it so important to have a high-quality decision process?

Because there are only two things that determine(dəˈtərmən) how your life turns out: luck and the quality of your decisions. You have control over only one of those two things.

Luck, by definition(ˌdefəˈniSH(ə)n), is out of your control. Where and when you were born, whether your boss comes into work in a bad mood, which admissions(ədˈmiSHən) officer happens to see your college application—these are all things that are out of your hands.

What you do have some control over, what you can improve, is the quality of your decisions. And when you make better-quality decisions, you increase the chances that good things will happen to you.

I believe this is a pretty noncontroversial(ˌnänˌkäntrəˈvərSH(ə)l) thing to say: It’s important to improve your decision process, because it’s the one thing you have control over in determining the quality of your life.

…
https://www.amazon.cn/dp/B07TRJB3S3

Junk Food Was Our Love Language

To feel close to my father, a man I never fully knew, I eat chicken nuggets(ˈnəɡət).

By C Pam Zhang

It’s autumn(ˈôdəm) again, the eighth(ā(t)TH) since my father died, and I’m craving(ˈkrāviNG) chicken nuggets.

When the pandemic began, I craved foods that happened to feel more virtuous(ˈvərCHo͞oəs). I was a frequent(ˈfrēkwənt) takeout customer at local San Francisco restaurants in economic(ˌekəˈnämik) peril(ˈperəl): beef noodle soup from a mom-and-pop on Irving(ˈərviNG), refried(ˌrēˌfrīd) beans(ˈbēnz) from a taqueria(ˌtäkəˈrēə, ˌtak-) on 24th Street, a pork chop(CHäp) from the beloved neighborhood spot on Divisadero(dəvisə). Every action I took was fraught(frôt) with the concept of doing good. I purchased stacks(stak) of books from independent bookstores, researched gardening(ˈɡärd(ə)niNG) gloves, donated(ˈdōˌnāt), downloaded a workout app, started reading “War and Peace.”

And then: depression(dəˈpreSH(ə)n), Zoom fatigue(fəˈtēɡ), a major life milestone passing without the ability to celebrate it, the deaths of public figures(ˈfiɡyər), the deaths of frontline workers, the death of a friend’s father, the deaths of migrants(ˈmīɡrənt) detained(dəˈtān) at the border, the death of a friend’s father, the death of another friend’s father.

Six months later, I was moving 800 miles in an attempt to outrun(ˌoutˈrən) a suffocating(ˈsəfəkādiNG) sense(sens) of doom, driving across state lines, every stop an exercise in anxiously(ˈaNGkSHəslē) navigating shared airspace and inconsistent(ˌinkənˈsist(ə)nt) mask policies(ˈpäləsē), and all I wanted was the ease(ēz) of a drive-through chicken nugget.

My father would have understood.

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https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/27/style/modern-love-junk-food-was-our-love-language.html

What do you hate not doing?

By Derek Sivers

When we wonder what’s worth doing, we ask ourselves(ou(ə)rˈselvz), “What do I really love?” or “What makes me happy?”

That question never really goes well, does it?

Maybe it’s because there’s a long list of things that make us happy, and we need to narrow it down further(ˈfərT͟Hər). Or maybe because the things with the deepest rewards don’t always provide shallow(ˈSHalō) pleasures along the way.

So try this question instead:

What do you hate not doing?

What makes you feel depressed(dəˈprest), annoyed, or like your life has gone astray(əˈstrā) if you don’t do it enough?

Answers to this double-negative(ˈneɡədiv) question seem to be better indicators of what’s really worth doing.

https://sive.rs/hatenot

What If You Could Do It All Over?

The uncanny(ˌənˈkanē) allure(əˈlo͝or) of our unlived lives.

By Joshua Rothman

Once, in another life, I was a tech founder. It was the late nineties, when the Web was young, and everyone was trying to cash in on the dot-com(dätˈkäm) boom. In college, two of my dorm(dôrm) mates and I discovered that we’d each started an Internet company in high school, and we merged them to form a single, teen-age megacorp(ˈmeɡə). For around six hundred dollars a month, we rented office space in the basement of a building in town. We made Web sites and software for an early dating service, an insurance(inˈSHo͝orəns)-claims-processing firm, and an online store where customers could “bargain(ˈbärɡən)” with a cartoon(kärˈto͞on) avatar(ˈavəˌtär) for overstock goods. I lived large, spending the money I made on tuition(t(y)o͞oˈiSH(ə)n), food, and a stereo(ˈsterēō).

…

I liked this entrepreneurial(ˌäntrəprəˈnərēəl) existence—its ambition(amˈbiSH(ə)n), its scrappy(ˈskrapē), near-future velocity(vəˈläsədē). I thought I might move to San Francisco and work in tech. I saw a path, an opening into life. But, as the dot-com bubble(ˈbəb(ə)l) burst, our client’s business was acquired by a firm that was acquired by another firm that didn’t want what we’d made. Our invoices(ˈinˌvois) went unpaid. It was senior(ˈsēnyər) year—a fork in the road. We closed our business and moved out of the office. A few days before graduation, when I went to pay my tuition bill, a girl on the elevator(ˈeləˌvādər) struck up a conversation, then got off at her floor; on my ride(rīd) down, she stepped on for a second time, and our conversation continued. We started dating, then went to graduate school in English together. We got married, I became a journalist, and we had a son. I now have a life, a world, a story. I’m me, not him—whoever he might have turned out to be.

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https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/12/21/what-if-you-could-do-it-all-over

Joe Biden’s Inaugural(inˈôɡ(y)ərəl) Address（节选）

…

My fellow Americans, in the work ahead of us, we will need each other.

We will need all our strength to persevere(ˌpərsəˈvir) through this dark winter.

We are entering what may well be the toughest(təf) and deadliest(ˈdedlē) period(ˈpirēəd) of the virus.

We must set aside the politics(ˈpäləˌtiks) and finally face this pandemic as one nation.

I promise you this: as the Bible(ˈbībəl) says weeping(ˈwēpiNG) may endure for a night but joy cometh(ˈkəməTH) in the morning.

We will get through this, together

The world is watching today.

So here is my message to those beyond our borders: America has been tested and we have come out stronger for it.

We will repair our alliances(əˈlīəns) and engage with the world once again.

Not to meet yesterday’s challenges, but today’s and tomorrow’s.

We will lead not merely by the example of our power but by the power of our example.

We will be a strong and trusted partner for peace, progress, and security.

We have been through so much in this nation.

And, in my first act as President, I would like to ask you to join me in a moment of silent prayer(prer) to remember all those we lost this past year to the pandemic.

To those 400,000 fellow Americans – mothers and fathers, husbands and wives(wīvz), sons and daughters, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

We will honor them by becoming the people and nation we know we can and should be.

Let us say a silent prayer for those who lost their lives, for those they left behind, and for our country.

Amen(äˈmen, āˈmen).

…
https://www.politico.com/news/2021/01/20/joe-biden-inauguration-speech-transcript-full-text-460813

A New Year is a Beautiful Fresh Start

By Leo Babauta

At the beginning of every year, it’s like a blank slate(slāt): the year can be whatever you want it to be.

This is freeing, exhilarating(iɡˈziləˌrādiNG), magical.

Take advantage of it, my friends.

Of course, we always have the magic of a fresh start available to us — in any day, any hour, any moment. Every morning is a beautiful fresh start! In fact, right this moment, you have the opportunity of a fresh start.

We should take advantage of these opportunities to see the freshness of the moment in front of us.

I recently was talking with my Zen teacher and admitted I hadn’t been studying as much as I’d committed to doing. She advised: “Start at one.” Basically, in basic breath(breTH) meditation, where you might count your breaths, your mind will get distracted and wander. And then you can simply start at one.

Start at One — this is one of my mantras(ˈmantrə) this year.

Let’s look at how to practice with this during each day, and a couple ways you can take advantage of Starting at One as we look at this beautiful year in front of us.

Practicing a Fresh Start in Each Day

Every morning, you get to ask yourself:

What would I like to do with this incredible day?
What would make today incredible for me?
What am I feeling called to do today? What’s most important?

You can wipe the slate clean of whatever happened the day before (no matter what it was), and just start anew.

And then you get a couple hours into it, and maybe you find yourself off course. You’ve gotten distracted, or caught up in busywork.

Start again.

Take a breath, and imagine this next moment is a blank slate. What is most important right now? What would you like to do with this incredible hour in front of you?

Start again. And find gratitude that you get to start again, over and over.

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https://zenhabits.net/fresh/