Make People Feel Good

Make People Feel Good

By Steve Pavlina

A simple way to enjoy a happier and more abundant(əˈbəndənt) social life is to put some effort into making people feel good.

Many people get so caught up thinking they have to rack(rak) up some accomplishments, get into better shape, become a person of high value, and more — just to give themselves permission to reach out and connect with others. None of that is necessary. That’s putting the focus on yourself, where you’ll only swirl(swərl) around in endless circles(ˈsərk(ə)l) of self-doubt. You’ll never feel prepared with that approach. You’ll never be done. You’ll just keep coming up with more reasons why you aren’t ready. Your goal will always be six more months away.

If a woman wants me to like her, all she needs to do is ask me, “What can I do to make you feel good right now?” I’ll tell her. Suppose I say, “Well, I’d love a good head-scratching(skraCH).” And she says okay and starts giving me a head-scratching. Now I’m blissing(blis) out, and I have her to thank for it. She’s instantly promoted to my A-list.

Do I care if she does yoga(ˈyōɡə) for two hours a day to stay in shape? Does it matter how much traffic she gets to her website? Do I care what color her skin is? None of those things matter to me. If she makes me feel good when I’m with her, of course I’m going to like her.