I’m angry and impatient all the time: Has social media changed me forever?

I’m angry(ˈaNGgrē) and impatient(imˈpāSHənt) all the time: Has social media changed me forever?

By Allison(ˈeləsən) Hall(hôl)

It’s 2 a.m. and I’m lying on a hospital cot(kät). The hall is crowded with patients waiting for attention(əˈtenCHən). I’m one of the lucky ones. I got here early enough to claim my own space. I’m hooked up to a heart monitor(ˈmänədər). I’ve already had two electrocardiograms(iˌlektrōˈkärdēəˌgram). I’ve swallowed(ˈswälō) down clot-busting drugs and Aspirin(əˈspī(ə)riNG). A nurse(nərs) has injected a blood thinner(ˈTHinər) into my stomach(ˈstəmək). I’ve had nitroglycerine(ˌnītrōˈɡlisərən) sprayed(sprā) under my tongue(təNG). I have an IV in my arm ready, just in case.

A nurse walks by and declares(diˈkler) that tonight the emergency(əˈmərjənsē) department is a “train wreck(rek).”

Every time my monitor beeps(bēp), my heart rate(rāt) skyrockets(ˈskīˌräkit). What could the beeping mean? I’m shaking(SHāk), trying to remember my yoga(ˈyōgə) breathing. My nurse assures(əˈSHo͝or) me she’s watching me like a hawk(hôk), but I haven’t seen her for hours. Stress consumes me. How in the world did I get here?

I have always been a patient person. I don’t fly off the handle, I tend to rationalize(ˈraSHnəˌlīz,ˈraSHənlˌīz) situations and approach conflict(ˈkänˌflikt) with an informed calmness(ˈkämnəs, ˈkälmnəs). But lately, this is not the case. I’m angry. I can’t stand to wait, to be inconvenienced(ˌinkənˈvēnyəns). I have turned into someone I don’t recognize.

My muscles(ˈməsəl) tense(tens) up when I look at my Twitter feed. My teeth clench(klenCH) when I look at Facebook. As a writer, I’ve been told to show, not tell and, right now, I’m overwhelmed in the telling. The multitude(ˈməltəˌt(y)o͞od) of voices telling me things that I really don’t want or need to know. I crave(krāv) approval(əˈpro͞ovəl), the need for others to know what I’m doing and like it. I feel let down when I don’t get enough of this virtual(ˈvərCHo͞oəl) attention.

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https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-im-angry-and-impatient-all-the-time-has-social-media-changed-me/