I may have finally figured out how to be a successful parent

I may have finally figured out how to be a successful parent

By Michelle Béland

For the longest time, I thought successful mothering and parenting in general(ˈjenərəl) would look something like this:

At least two healthy(ˈhelTHē) and happy children enrolled(enˈrōl) in a variety(vəˈrīədē) of extracurricular(ˌekstrəkəˈrikyələr) activities. Ideally(īˈdē(ə)lē), one of those activities would be cello(ˈCHelō) lessons so my kid (didn’t matter who) could fulfill(fo͝olˈfil) my failed(fāld) dream of playing Bach’s(bäKH, bäk) Suite(swēt) No. 1 in G Major(ˈmājər). McDonalds? Prohibited(prō-,prəˈhibitid). Screen time? Minimal(ˈminəməl). Languages? They would speak three, just like my husband and I. Gender neutral(ˈn(y)o͞otrəl) clothing(ˈklōT͟HiNG) a must. And they would play with educational(ˌejəˈkāSHənl), non-toxic(ˈtäksik) toys, too – Montessori(ˌmäntəˈsôrē) style.

As for me, I would be a working mother with a sense of professional fulfillment and contribute to the financial(fī-,fəˈnanCHəl) stability(stəˈbilədē) of my household. I would prepare organic(ôrˈganik), non-GMO, home-cooked meals for my children. My husband and I would make time for regular date nights, of course, and explore our city’s amazing culinary(ˈkyo͞olə-,ˈkələˌnerē) scene(sēn).

When I actually became a parent and experienced life with a kid for a couple of years, I realized I had to change my expectations(ˌekspekˈtāSHən).

My first clue(klo͞o) was when my partner and I decided our family was complete with one child. When I realized I didn’t want a second child, I felt(felt) like a bad person. I felt conflicted(kənˈflikt, ˈkänˌflikt) and guilty(ˈgiltē) about not providing the experience of a sibling(ˈsibliNG) to my son just like my husband and I had. I was straying(strā) from my vision(ˈviZHən) board! However, I knew deep down what was right for me and for us as a family. It took a minute for me to say it out loud without shame(SHām) and not feel like the archetypal(ˌärkəˈtīp(ə)l) “bad mother.” A family of three we shall be, and let me just say, it’s pretty awesome(ˈôsəm).

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https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-i-may-have-finally-figured-out-how-to-be-a-successful-parent/