Overcoming Trust(trəst) Issues(ˈiSHo͞o)

By Steve Pavlina

How easy is it for you to trust other people? Do you trust people easily? Or are you often suspicious(səˈspiSHəs) of others’ motives?

Do you trust life enough that you can quit(kwit) your uninspired(ˌəninˈspīrd) job as soon as you recognize it as such, and know that life will bring you something even better? Or do you need to slow things down and control(kənˈtrōl) the process(prəˈses,ˈpräsəs,ˈpräˌses,ˈprō-), such as by trying to save up money doing even more work you dislike? Are you paying the price(prīs) in frustration(frəˈstrāSHən) for your distrust(disˈtrəst) in life?

Do you trust that if you leave your uninspired relationship that life will bring you an even better, more fulfilling relationship experience?

If you leap(lēp) into your path with a heart, do you trust that life will have your back?

Difficult Trust Lessons

In my early 20s when I was getting my computer games business off the ground, I was a pretty trusting guy. I felt lucky to be entering into a deal to publish one of my games with a major(ˈmājər) publisher. My team worked on it for months, and then our publisher unilaterally(ˌyo͞onəˈladərəlē, ˌyo͞onəˈlatrəlē) cancelled the deal on us and tried to sue(so͞o) us for absolutely no reason that made sense(sens). It was basically(ˈbāsik(ə)lē) a scare(ske(ə)r) tactic(ˈtaktik). I was able to convince(kənˈvins) them to drop the lawsuit(ˈlôˌso͞ot), but they killed our project dead, and in the end I was left with a bunch of debt(det) and no income.

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https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2013/12/overcoming-trust-issues/

SpaceX(spās)

MAKING HISTORY

SpaceX has gained(gān) worldwide attention for a series(ˈsirēz) of historic(-ˈstär-,hiˈstôrik) milestones(ˈmīlˌstōn). It is the only private(ˈprīvit) company capable(ˈkāpəbəl) of returning a spacecraft(ˈspāsˌkraft) from low Earth orbit(ˈôrbət), which it first accomplished(əˈkämpliSHt) in 2010. The company made history(ˈhist(ə)rē) again in 2012 when its Dragon(ˈdragən) spacecraft became the first commercial(kəˈmərSHəl) spacecraft to deliver(dəˈliv(ə)rē) cargo(ˈkärgō) to and from the International Space Station.

SpaceX successfully achieved the historic first reflight(flīt) of an orbital(ˈôrbitl) class rocket in 2017, and the company now regularly(ˈreɡyələrlē) launches flight-proven(pro͞ov) rockets. In 2018, SpaceX began launching Falcon(ˈfalkən,ˈfôl-) Heavy(ˈhevē), the world’s most powerful operational(ˌäpəˈrāSHənl) rocket by a factor of two.

ADVANCING(ədˈvans) THE FUTURE

As one of the world’s fastest growing providers of launch services, SpaceX has secured(səˈkyo͝or) over 100 missions(ˈmiSHən) to its manifest(ˈmanəˌfest), representing(ˌrepriˈzent) over $12 billion on contract. These include commercial satellite(ˈsatlˌīt) launches as well as US government missions. SpaceX’s Dragon spacecraft is flying numerous(ˈn(y)o͞om(ə)rəs) cargo(ˈkärgō) resupply missions to the space station under a series of Commercial Resupply Services contracts. Dragon was designed from the outset to carry humans to space and will soon fly astronauts(ˈastrəˌnôt) under NASA’s(ˈnasə) Commercial Crew(kro͞o) Program, with the first demonstration(ˌdemənˈstrāSHən) flight targeted for January 2019.

Building on the achievements of Falcon 9 and Falcon Heavy, SpaceX is working on a next generation of fully reusable launch vehicles(ˈvēəkəl,ˈvēˌhikəl) that will be the most powerful ever built, capable(ˈkāpəbəl) of carrying humans to Mars and other destinations(ˌdestəˈnāSHən) in the solar(ˈsōlər) system.

https://www.spacex.com/about

The Average(ˈav(ə)rij) American Is Edging(ˈejiNG) Closer to Being Obese(ōˈbēs)

By Alexandre Tanzi

The average American is heavier(ˈhevē) than at the start of the 21st Century – and very close to being obese, according to Centers for Disease(dəˈzēz) Control data on body metrics(ˈmetriks).

The average American man is 5-feet, 9-inches tall and weighs(wā) 198 pounds(pound); an average woman is 5-feet, 4-inches and 171 pounds, based on CDC data. That compares(kəmˈpe(ə)r) with 189.1 pounds and 163.6, respectively(rəˈspektivlē), at the start of the century.

A man of average height is considered overweight between 169 and 202 pounds and obese above 202 pounds. A woman of average height is considered overweight between 140 and 174 and obese above 175 pounds. The average non-Hispanic(hiˈspanik) white((h)wīt) American male(māl) weighs 202.2 pounds.

The Obesity(ōˈbēsədē) Society, a scientific research organization, this month classified(ˈklasəˌfīd) obesity as a worldwide(ˈwərldˈwīd), non-communicable(kəˈmyo͞onəkəb(ə)l) chronic(ˈkränik) disease(dəˈzēz). “Obesity meets all criteria(ˌkrīˈtirēən) for being a disease, and therefore, should be characterized(ˈkerəktəˌrīz) as such,“ said Cathy Kotz, the society’s vice president(ˈprezəˌdent) and a professor at the University of Minnesota(ˌminəˈsōdə).

…
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-12-20/tale-of-the-tape-average-american-is-borderline-obese-cdc-says

Training in Uncertainty(ˌənˈsərtn(t)ē)

“We are always in transition(-ˈsiSHən,tranˈziSHən). If you can just relax(riˈlaks) with that, you’ll have no problem.” -Chogyam Trungpa

By Leo Babauta

I’ve been training in uncertainty for a few years now.

I realized that the people I coach(kōCH) and teach are just like me: we feel shaky(ˈSHākē), scared(ske(ə)rd), anxious(ˈaNG(k)SHəs), uncomfortable(-ˈkəmftərbəl,ˌənˈkəmfərtəbəl) when we are faced with massive(ˈmasiv) uncertainty, when the ground is pulled out from under our feet.

This shakiness(ˈSHākē) is the cause of our procrastination(prō-,prəˌkrastəˈnāSHən), hiding(ˈhīdiNG) from overwhelming projects, running from discomfort, and putting off exercise(ˈeksərˌsīz), healthy eating, meditation(ˌmedəˈtāSHən), writing, reading and all the other things we want in our lives.

And so, if we can train in uncertainty, we can get good at life. We no longer need to fear groundlessness(ˈɡroun(d)ləs).

What does it mean to train in uncertainty?

It means to constantly yank(yaNGk) the rug(rəg) out from under your feet.

When you get comfortable with something, you have to give it up. When you think you know something, you have to toss(täs,tôs) it out. When you walk through life with concepts(ˈkänˌsept), you have to let those concepts go and see things with fresh(freSH) eyes.

Most of us walk around thinking we know things — think about how often we think we know how everyone else should act. Training in uncertainty is letting go of the certainty that we know how everyone else should behave(bəˈhāv), and having no concepts.

Most of us walk around thinking we know what things around us are. We barely(ˈbe(ə)rlē) glance(glans) at the things we pass. Training in uncertainty is tossing all that out, and seeing things for the first time, full of curiosity(ˌkyo͝orēˈäsədē).

Training in uncertainty is pushing into discomfort when you want to run to comfort. It’s going to an event that scares(ske(ə)r) the crap out of you. It’s setting aside time to write every day even when you want to run like crazy from the writing(ˈrīdiNG).

And then when you think you know something about training in uncertainty … you throw that out too. You keep throwing everything away, and know nothing.

What you’re left with is just impermanence(imˈpərmənənt) — constant flux(fləks). Groundlessness. A deeply interconnected world, without separation(ˌsepəˈrāSHən).

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/219/219-h/219-h.htm

After raising(rāz) four boys, it’s time to choose my own adventure(adˈven(t)SHər, ədˈven(t)SHər, adˈvenCHər)

By Jennifer(jenəfər) McGuire(mə)

I am moving to Europe(ˈyo͝orəp) in January(ˈjanyəˌwerē) for four months. Italy(ˈidəlē) for two months, and then France(frans,fräNs), and then one extra(ˈekstrə) as-yet-to-be-chosen location that I’ve decided to call “dealer’s(ˈdēlər) choice” because I’m trying to be spontaneous(spänˈtānēəs) here. I am not going to Italy to get over a breakup or a death in the family (knocks(näk) vigorously(ˈvig(ə)rəslē) on wood) or to find love. When I think of leaving in just a few weeks after years of planning(ˈplaniNG), I try to focus on all of the ways I’ll be living some sort of Eat, Pray(prā), Love dream. I try not to think about being alone, unable to make someone laugh because I’m only funny in English. I try not to think about the life I’m leaving behind.

I’m going away for four months because I’ve been raising four sons on my own for the past 16 years and my youngest is moving out, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the rest(rest) of my life. A month for each loss(läs,lôs). Earlier this year, I could not think beyond September. My mind went blank. It was the first September in almost 20 years when I did not have to consult(kənˈsəlt) a school-supply list at Staples(ˈstāpəl), or check flyers for all the BOGO shoe(SHo͞o) sales and hope the styles available are deemed(dēm) acceptable(akˈseptəbəl). I even started to rummage(ˈrəmij) through backpacks at Winners then realized I don’t need to buy any this year.

The moment left me mute(myo͞ot) with shock(SHäk). Later I stood in the parking lot, stunned(stən) silent, clutching(kləCH) my key fob(fäb). Looking off into a vacant(ˈvākənt) future I had no way of predicting(priˈdikt).

All of my adult life I have been growing boys. I’m not someone who enjoys doing math, but lately(ˈlātlē) all I can think of are the numbers of my life. First son at 21, second at 23, third at 27, fourth at 28. Single mom by 30. Two or more jobs at a time since 30.

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-after-raising-four-boys-its-time-to-choose-my-own-adventure/

Sleepless(ˈslēpləs) No More In Seattle(sēˈadl) — Later School Start Time Pays Off For Teens(tēnz)

By Patti Neighmond(nei’mend)

Many American teenagers(ˈtēnˌājər) try to put in a full day of school, homework, after-school activities, sports and college(ˈkälij) prep(prep) on too little sleep. As evidence(ˈevədəns) grows that chronic(ˈkränik) sleep deprivation(ˌdeprəˈvāSHən) puts teens at risk for physical(ˈfizikəl) and mental(ˈmentl) health problems, there is increasing pressure(ˈpreSHər) on school districts(ˈdistrikt) around the country to consider a later start time.

In Seattle, school and city officials recently made the shift. Beginning with the 2016-2017 school year, the district moved the official start times for middle and high schools nearly an hour later, from 7:50 a.m. to 8:45 a.m. This was no easy feat(fēt); it meant rescheduling(ˌrēˈskejəl) extracurricular(ˌekstrəkəˈrikyələr
) activities and bus routes(rout,ro͞ot). But the bottom(ˈbätəm) line goal was met: Teenagers used the extra(ˈekstrə) time to sleep in.

Researchers at the University of Washington studied the high school students both before and after the start-time change. Their findings appear in a study published Wednesday(-dē,ˈwenzdā) in the journal(ˈjərnl) Science Advances. They found students got 34 minutes more sleep on average with the later school start time. This boosted(bo͞ost) their total nightly(ˈnītlē) sleep from 6 hours and 50 minutes to 7 hours and 24 minutes.

…
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/12/676118782/sleepless-no-more-in-seattle-later-school-start-time-pays-off-for-teens

Judge Not

By Steve Pavlina

Have you ever met anyone who was normal?

I’ve met a lot of people on this planet(ˈplanət) so far, and none have ever seemed normal — or average(ˈav(ə)rij) — to me. Not even close.

Being normal is a myth(miTH). There’s no such thing.

Despite(dəˈspīt) what some people say about me, I don’t consider my lifestyle radical(ˈradək(ə)l), abnormal(abˈnôrməl), or extremist(ikˈstrēmist). I don’t do what I do to rebel(ˈrebəl) against society. That would be pointless(ˈpointlis) because no matter how I live my life, it’s guaranteed(ˌgarənˈtē) to be unique anyway. I can’t possibly live a normal, average life even if I tried. No one can.

Even if it were possible to live a normal life, would you even want that? On this planet, normal means living on less than $2 a day… and that’s just for starters(ˈstärtər).

Exposing(ikˈspōz) Your Uniqueness

The reason my work tends to polarize(ˈpōləˌrīz) people isn’t because I’m so “out there.” The reason this happens is that I openly share my uniqueness instead of keeping it hidden. Being different is commonplace(ˈkämənˌplās), but exposing those differences is fairly(ˈfe(ə)rlē) uncommon(ˌənˈkämən).

Most people lead with their sameness and hide their uniqueness, so as to maximize(ˈmaksəˌmīz) their chance of being accepted(əkˈseptəd) by others. I prefer to share my uniqueness openly. As you can probably guess, this exposes me to criticism(ˈkridəˌsizəm) — sometimes a great deal of criticism. But I’d rather be judged for the man that I am than accepted as someone I pretend(priˈtend) to be.

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https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/01/judge-not/

Carolina(ˌkarəˈlīnə) Friends School, and the greatness within(wiT͟Hˈin,wiˈTH-
)

to release(riˈlēs) the greatness within

By Henry H. Walker

greatness is within each of us
and can sometimes find its way out,
I sit(sit) with two colleagues(ˈkälˌēg) and reminisce(ˌreməˈnis)
about our history within our school,

one still lives a greatness
in the surety(ˈSHo͝orədē) and passion(ˈpaSHən) of his belief in the learner(ˈlərnər),
the students who can make their way forward
with teachers as helper, as companion(kəmˈpanyən), as fellow travelers,
he believed in me as a teacher,
and that belief, and his example,
helped me find the greatness within me,
no one in my near half-century of teaching at CFS
has clerked(klərk) a meeting so well as him,
to Quakers(ˈkwākər), a clerk is a leader(ˈlēdər) from behind,
who allows and encourages(inˈkərij) all voices to contribute,
who allows and encourages all hearts and heads to be open
to the revelation(ˌrevəˈlāSHən) of truth from within,
to the revelation of truth from another’s take on it all,
who can find and assert(əˈsərt) the potential(pəˈtenCHəl) consensus(kənˈsensəs) within the group,
who can help us find it, too,

my other colleague
lives part of the truth of his own greatness through his saxophones(ˈsaksəˌfōn),
through the music he lives and encourages
as a way to speak to a truth deeper, older than words,
he tells a story of transformation,
of two high schoolers who eldered him
to let the students in his class
share in the revelation of truth,
and he changed in his teaching
and got further toward the greatness within,

I have been gifted throughout my decades of being an educator(ˈejəˌkādər) here
to find greatness around me in my colleagues, in my students,
and, when I can let it be, in myself,

what is most radical(ˈradək(ə)l) about our school
is that we trust and believe and love,
what is most heartening(ˈhärtn) about CFS, our school,
is that person after person, with help,
finds and releases the greatness within.

https://henryspoetry.blogspot.com/2018/12/carolina-friends-school-and-greatness.html

George(jôrj) W. Bush’s(bo͝oSH) eulogy(ˈyo͞oləjē) for his father

“Distinguished(disˈtiNGgwiSHt) guests, including our Presidents(ˈprez(ə)dənt,ˈprezəˌdent) and First Ladies, government officials, foreign(ˈfär-,ˈfôrən) dignitaries(ˈdiɡnəˌterē), and friends: Jeb, Neil, Marvin, Doro, and I, and our families, thank you all for being here.

I once heard it said of man that ‘The idea is to die young as late as possible.’

At age 85, a favorite pastime(ˈpasˌtīm) of George H. W. Bush was firing up his boat(bōt), the Fidelity(fəˈdelətē), and opening up the three-300 horsepower(ˈhôrsˌpou(-ə)r) engines(ˈenjən) to fly — joyfully fly — across the Atlantic(at-,ətˈlantik), with Secret(ˈsēkrit) Service boats straining(strān) to keep up.

At 90, George H. W. Bush parachuted(ˈparəˌSHo͞ot) out of an aircraft(ˈe(ə)rˌkraft) and landed on the grounds of St. Ann’s by the Sea in Kennebunkport(kanə), Maine(mān) — the church where his mom was married and where he’d worshipped(ˈwərSHəp) often. Mother liked to say he chose the location just in case the chute(SHo͞ot) didn’t open.

In his 90s, he took great delight(dəˈlīt) when his closest pal(pal), James(jāmz) A. Baker, smuggled(ˈsməgəl) a bottle(ˈbätl) of Grey Goose(go͞os) vodka(ˈvädkə) into his hospital room. Apparently(əˈparəntlē,əˈpe(ə)r-), it paired well with the steak(stāk) Baker had delivered(dəˈlivər) from Morton’s.

To his very last days, dad’s life was instructive(inˈstrəktiv). As he aged, he taught us how to grow old with dignity(ˈdiɡnədē), humor(ˈ(h)yo͞omər), and kindness — and, when the Good Lord finally called, how to meet Him with courage(ˈkə-rij,ˈkərij) and with joy in the promise(ˈpräməs) of what lies ahead.

…
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/read-george-w-bush-s-full-eulogy-his-father-n944436

Simple Limits for the Phone

The phone is one of the biggest addictions(əˈdikSHən) for most people, because it has so many other addictions inside of it! From Facebook and Instagram to news and messages(ˈmesij), it’s all there, anytime you get the itch(ˈiCHē).

Here are some ways you might limit your phone (pick and choose what would work for you):

No phone use in the car, at the dining(dīn) table, while in line, or while talking with other people. If you’re having coffee(ˈkäfē,ˈkôfē) or lunch with someone, agree to put the phones away unless you really, really need to look something up or put your next date(dāt) on the calendar(ˈkaləndər). If you’re eating dinner with family, make the same agreement(əˈgrēmənt). If you’re driving in the car (or riding(ˈrīdiNG) with someone), tell yourself that all messages and other stuff can wait until you get to your destination(ˌdestəˈnāSHən). If you’re in line, there’s a strong tendency(ˈtendənsē) to fill the waiting by looking at something on your phone or doing something useful … but cut that off and see if you can just be present(priˈzent,ˈprezənt).

Delete(dəˈlēt) the apps that are your biggest temptations(tem(p)ˈtāSHən). I recently deleted all social media, news and other distracting(dəsˈtraktiNG) apps on my phone. Now I have Instapaper and Kindle (for long-form reading), Whatsapp (for family messages), Todoist to update my todo list, and some other as-needed apps (Chrome for looking things up, some financial(fī-,fəˈnanCHəl) apps, and some travel apps). Having a phone without the biggest temptations (Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, etc.(et cetera.)) will drastically(ˈdrastəklē) simplify your tech life.

Limit messaging to certain(ˈsərtn) times, unless urgent(ˈərjənt). I have given in to the importance(imˈpôrtns) of messaging — I use WhatsApp for family, and Gmail and Slack(slak) for work. But I also believe in limiting all of these, otherwise it’s constant(ˈkänstənt) interruptions(ˌintəˈrəpSHən) and responding to everyone else’s requests. Instead, I limit the responding to certain times — email in the morning and late afternoon, and 1-2 times a day for messaging. I make an exception for urgent messages that need a response sooner, which means I leave my notifications on so I can respond if really needed. My family would love it if I responded more quickly, I know, but setting limits means making tough decisions(diˈsiZHən) like this.

Imagine(iˈmajən) if you implemented limits like this — it would make most of our lives simpler, and give us greater focus. And yes, it could be even simpler, but this is what works for me right now.

https://zenhabits.net/tech-limits/