With stunning(ˈstəniNG) victory(ˈvikt(ə)rē), Towson(ˈtousən) University can finally celebrate(ˈseləˌbrāt) a national(ˈnaSHənəl) title — in dodgeball(ˈdäjˌbôl)

By Edward(ˈedwərd) Lee

Towson University’s varsity(ˈvärsətē) sports programs have not won(wän) a national championship(ˈCHampēənˌSHip) since 1974, when the men’s lacrosse(-ˈkräs,ləˈkrôs) team edged(ej) Hobart(ˈhōˌbärt) in the NCAA’s first Division(dəˈviZHən) II tournament(ˈto͝or-,ˈtərnəmənt) final.

Over the weekend, however, the school’s dodgeball club captured its first national crown. The No. 2 seed(sēd) in the National Collegiate(kəˈlēj(ē)ət) Dodgeball Association(-SHē-,əˌsōsēˈāSHən) tournament, the Tigers upset 10-time reigning(rāniNG) national titlist(ˈtīd(ə)ləst) Grand Valley(ˈvalē) State on Sunday on the Lakers’ home court(kôrt) inside the Fieldhouse Arena(əˈrēnə) in Allendale, Mich.

The victory is still sinking in with a couple of players.

“There was a point when I was just sitting(ˈsidiNG) down for about 10 minutes, and was saying, ‘What just happened?’ over and over again,” senior(ˈsēnyər) and club vice(vīs,ˈvīsē,ˈvīsə) president David(ˈdāvid) Guare(grərē) said recently. “I’m still kind of thinking about what happened.”

Added senior Colin(lən) Sporer: “I know that we’re all walking around with our national championship T-shirts on. I’m just at a loss(läs,lôs) for words. I still can’t believe that it happened.”

Towson(ˈtousən), which went 23-4 in the regular-season, had fallen short of expectations(ˌekspekˈtāSH(ə)n) in the past, losing(lo͞oz) to Kentucky(kənˈtəkē) in the first round of the national tournament in 2016 and Michigan(ˈmiSHiɡən) State and Bowling(ˈbōliNG) Green in the quarterfinals(ˈkwôrtərˌfīnl) in 2017 and 2018, respectively(rəˈspektivlē). Last weekend, the club defeated(dəˈfēdəd) the Wildcats in Saturday’s(ˈsadərˌdā, ˈsadərdē) round-robin format(ˈfôrˌmat) and the Falcons(ˈfalkən,ˈfôl-) in the quarterfinals before ousting(oust) the Spartans(ˈspärtn) in the semifinals(ˌsemēˈfīnl, ˌsemīˈfīnl) Sunday.

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https://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/bs-sp-towson-university-national-champion-competitive-dodgeball-20190417-story.html

I wrestle(ˈresəl) with faith but I miss the tradition of giving thanks before a meal

By Martin(ˈmärtn) Bauman

“Shall we say grace(grās)?”

My mother looks to my father for input. The smell of baked(bākt) bread(bred), steamed(stēmd) green beans and barbecued(ˈbärbəˌkyo͞o) trout(trout) wafts(waft,wäft) from the dinner table. It’s framed(frāmd) as a question, but there is only one answer. It is the same answer it has always been.

“Thank you, God,” my mother begins, eyes closed and head bowed(bou,bō). I sneak(snēk) one last glance(glans) at the food on the table; my appetite(ˈapəˌtīt) will have to wait.

Some run marathons(ˈmarəˌTHän); some fast or meditate(ˈmedəˌtāt). My mother is a world-class endurance(enˈd(y)o͝orəns) athlete(ˈaTHˌlēt) in dinnertime prayer(pre(ə)r). Short-haired and with reading glasses perched(pərCH) just right, she can out-thank the most grateful(ˈgrātfəl) of grace-givers. Oscar(ˈäskər) acceptance(əkˈseptəns) speeches are shorter. Maybe Oscar monologues(ˈmänəlˌôɡ, ˈmänəlˌäɡ), too. Still, for every breakfast(ˈbrekfəst), lunch and dinner my family has shared, my parents have started by giving thanks.

I was raised(rāzd) a Mennonite(ˈmenəˌnīt), which is not to be confused with an Old Colony(ˈkälənē) Mennonite, nor an Old Order Mennonite, and certainly not a David(ˈdāvid) Martin Mennonite (although my parents did name me Martin David). I am neither a Mexican(ˈmeksək(ə)n) Mennonite (who themselves are not really Mexican, but rather Low German), nor a Conservative(kənˈsərvədiv) Mennonite (which some might consider a redundancy(rəˈdəndənsē) of words), but instead, a “mainstream(ˈmānˌstrēm)” Mennonite – a sellout in the Mennonite tradition, if you will. Mainstream Mennonites are more or less akin(əˈkin) to any other Canadian(kəˈnādēən) you might see – “except,” one such Mennonite blogger notes, “for the lingering(ˈliNGg(ə)riNG) vestiges(ˈvestij) of Mennonite self-loathing(ˈlōT͟HiNG).” A lovely tradition to inherit(inˈherət).

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-i-wrestle-with-faith-but-i-miss-the-tradition-of-giving-thanks-before/

The Habit of Calm(kä(l)m) When You’re Feeling Frustrated(ˈfrəˌstrādəd)

By Leo Babauta

Someone recently asked me about getting frustrated when they feel overloaded, and then shutting down or lashing(ˈlaSHiNG) out.

…

This probably sounds familiar to some of us. We feel overloaded, and then maybe lash out at someone in frustration(frəˈstrāSHən) and anger.

This comes from the hope that things will be calm, orderly, simple, solid(ˈsäləd), and under control(kənˈtrōl). The world doesn’t comply(kəmˈplī) with this hope, however, as it is chaotic(kāˈädik), disorderly, constantly(ˈkänstəntlē) changing, never fixed, groundless. So we get frustrated, angry(ˈaNGgrē) at others, and feel anxiety(aNGˈzīədē).

So how do we deal with the frustration that arises(əˈrīz)? How can we create a habit of calm?

I’m going to share a series(ˈsi(ə)rēz) of practices that you can turn into habits. When you notice yourself feeling frustrated, instead of lashing out, practice the following.

If you practice them over and over, whenever you notice frustration, you will start to shift.

The first practice is to catch your habitual(həˈbiCHo͞oəl) pattern as early as you can, and shifting by not allowing yourself to indulge(inˈdəlj) in it. When you notice yourself getting frustrated and feeling overloaded, notice the urge(ərj) to go to your habitual pattern (shutting down or lashing out), but pause(pôz) instead of indulging it.

The next practice is to drop into the body. Again, pause, and let yourself take a breath(breTH). Drop your attention into your body and notice the sensations(senˈsāSHən) of frustration and overwhelm. Stay with these sensations, with curiosity. Notice how strong the urge to lash out feels, and just savor(ˈsāvər) that strong feeling instead of acting on it.

…

The third practice is to use this newfound space to connect to the other person. Now, I understand that you might be angry at them, and so connecting to them is the last thing you want to do. Your heart is closed to them, because you think they are the problem. The problem is your closed heart. Try not indulging in that shutting down, and opening yourself a little. This is a challenging but transformative(tran(t)sˈfôrmədiv) practice.
…

The final practice is to try to find an appropriate(əˈprōprēət), loving and compassionate(kəmˈpaSHənət) response. You have empathized(ˈempəˌTHīz) with the other person, but now you need to take action. The answer of what action to take is not always easy, but at the very least(lēst), you’re not responding from a place of anger, which is a place that gives rise(rīz) to inappropriate(ˌinəˈprōprēət) responses like lashing out.

…

In the end, this stuff takes a lot of practice. But it’s immeasurably(i(m)ˈmeZH(ə)rəblē) more helpful to do these practices than to lash out, which hurts not only the other person, but yourself as well.

https://zenhabits.net/frustrating/

To the Type-A Person Having a Meltdown(ˈmeltˌdoun)

If you’re not perfect, you’re worthless(ˈwərTHləs). I know the feeling.

By Mary(ˈme(ə)rē) Laura Philpott

Put down your phone and Post-it Notes for just a minute. I know you’re busy rewriting your to-do list in your head, first chronologically(ˌkränəˈläjiklē) and then in order of task magnitude(ˈmagnəˌto͞od) and then visually like a pie chart with different colors for each slice(slīs) of pie according to how long each thing will take, but you can spare(spe(ə)r) a little time.

I just want to tell you that your outfit(ˈoutˌfit) today is spot on. Are you wearing(ˈwe(ə)riNG) seasonal(ˈsēzənəl) socks? The rumpled(ˈrəmpəl), under-the-elbow(ˈelˌbō) half-roll of your sleeves(slēv) didn’t happen by accident(ˈaksədənt), either. You looked up a video tutorial(t(y)o͞oˈtôrēəl) online so that you could do it right, I bet(bet). And before you closed out the video, you probably left a review.

Not only does everyone find your appearance(əˈpi(ə)rəns) neat(nēt) and visually pleasing(ˈplēziNG), but we also admire(ədˈmī(ə)r) your emails, too. You have a real sense(sens) for when to go with bullet(ˈbo͝olət) points instead of paragraphs(ˈparəˌgraf).

The dinner you made for your book club last night had to have taken you hours to plan and execute(ˈeksəˌkyo͞ot). Did you use a vegetable(ˈvejtəb(ə)l, ˈvəjədəb(ə)l) peeler(ˈpēlər) or a paring knife(nīf) to get the sides of the cucumber(ˈkyo͞oˌkəmbər) to look like green-and-white((h)wīt) peppermint(ˈpepərˌmint) stripes(strīp)? That was a whimsical(ˈ(h)wimzik(ə)l) touch. People don’t think about that sort of thing enough.

I want you to know that I see your face when someone parks over the line in a crowded parking lot and wastes(wāst) a whole second spot, and I know your scowl(skoul) isn’t really about the parking space. When you stop to pick up trash(traSH) on a sidewalk or put the to-go menus(ˈmenyo͞o) back in their rack(rak) at the sandwich(ˈsanˌ(d)wiCH) shop, you wish you didn’t have to. You’d rather everyone else pulled their weight(wāt), but if they won’t, you will. Sometimes it feels like they slack off because they know you’ll catch whatever balls they drop.

This leaves you in a state of simmering(ˈsimər) low-grade(grād) resentment(rəˈzentmənt), and you feel guilty(ˈgiltē) about occasionally(əˈkāZHənl-ē) having the urge to throw your laptop at someone’s face. You wish these things didn’t get to you. You want to live and let live.

But I know you can’t help it.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/30/opinion/sunday/type-a-meltdown.html

Productivity Isn’t About Time Management. It’s About Attention(əˈten(t)SH(ə)n) Management.

“Time management” is not a solution — it’s actually part of the problem.

By Adam(ˈadəm) Grant

A few years ago during a break in a leadership class I was teaching, a manager named Michael walked up looking unsettled(ˌənˈsedld). His boss(bäs,bôs) had told him he needed to be more productive, so he had spent a few hours analyzing(ˈanlˌīz) how he spent his time. He had already cut his nonessential(ˌnänəˈsen(t)SH(ə)l) meetings. He couldn’t find any tasks to drop from his calendar(ˈkaləndər). He didn’t see an obvious(ˈäbvēəs) way to do them more efficiently(əˈfiSHəntlē).

“This is going to sound like a joke, but it’s not,” he confessed(kənˈfes). “My only idea is to drink less water so I don’t have to go to the bathroom so many times.”

We live in a culture obsessed(əbˈses) with personal productivity. We devour(dəˈvou(ə)r) books on getting things done and dream of four-hour workweeks. We worship(ˈwərSHəp) at the altar(ˈôltər) of hustle(ˈhəsəl) and boast(bōst) about being busy. The key to getting things done, we’re often told, is time management. If you could just plan your schedule(ˈskejəl) better, you could reach productivity nirvana(nir-,nərˈvänə).

But after two decades of studying productivity, I’ve become convinced(kənˈvinst) that time management is not a solution — it’s actually part of the problem.

For most of my career(kəˈri(ə)r), the most frequent(ˈfrēkwənt) question I’ve gotten is: “How do I get more done?” Sometimes people ask because they know I’m an organizational(ˈˌôrɡənəˈzāSHənl) psychologist(sīˈkäləjəst), and productivity is one of my areas(ˈe(ə)rēə
) of expertise(-ˈtēs,ˌekspərˈtēz). More often they’re asking because they’ve read in a New York Times article or a popular book that I get a lot done.

But the truth is that I don’t feel very productive. I’m constantly falling short of my daily goals for progress, so I’ve struggled to answer the question. It wasn’t until that conversation with Michael that it dawned on me: Being prolific(prəˈlifik) is not about time management. There are a limited number of hours in the day, and focusing on time management just makes us more aware of how many of those hours we waste.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/28/smarter-living/productivity-isnt-about-time-management-its-about-attention-management.html

Character(ˈkerəktər) predicts(prəˈdikt) your future

By Derek Sivers

When I was 20 years old, I moved to New York City, and got a job at Warner/Chappell(Shə) Music Publishing. I lived there for nine years, and got to know a lot of people in the music industry.

Ten years later, I came back to New York and met with many of the people I hadn’t seen in 15 years.

Every single one had ended up about where you’d expect, based on their character.

The disciplined(ˈdisəˌplind) ones succeeded(səkˈsēd).

The temperamental(ˌtemp(ə)rəˈmentl) ones flamed(flām) out.

The ones that acted like leaders were now leaders.

The ones that blamed(blāmd) everyone else for their lack of results were still just doing that.

It didn’t matter where they were at before. What mattered is the direction(dəˈrekSH(ə)n, dīˈrekSH(ə)n) they were headed. I met some of them when they were unpaid(ˌənˈpād) interns(ˈinˌtərn) at the bottom of the ranks, but they had the determination(dəˌtərməˈnāSH(ə)n) and smart approach that led(led) them to the top. I met others when they had some success, but seemed so fragile(-ˌjīl,ˈfrajəl) or combustible(kəmˈbəstəbəl), and yep — they came tumbling(ˈtəmbəl) down.

Character isn’t fate(fāt) or destiny(ˈdestinē). Character isn’t just DNA, decided before birth. It’s your little choices and little actions. You feel the pull to do the wrong thing, but do the right thing instead.

How you do anything is how you do everything. It all matters.

Your actions are completely(kəmˈplētlē) under your control, and seem to be the best indicator(ˈindəˌkādər) of future success.

https://sivers.org/character

How can I parent(ˈpe(ə)rənt) mindfully when I get so tired of being a parent?

By Abigail Somma

When my twins were one and a half years old, I decided to become a meditation(ˌmedəˈtāSHən) teacher. The initial(iˈniSHəl) intent(inˈtent) wasn’t wholly(ˈhōl(l)ē) to be a meditation teacher, but rather to get a much-needed break(brāk) from my life. The way I explained(ikˈsplān) it to my partner and co-parent was a little different. I told him this course would move my career in a direction that was more meaningful. It made sense for long-term planning(ˈplaniNG). It was an investment in the future. The fact that it would also be a weekly sigh(sī) of relief(rəˈlēf) didn’t seem worth mentioning.

Turned out he was an easy sell, and once a week and a few Saturdays, I left the mania(ˈmānēə) of toddler(ˈtädlər) twin(twin) life behind and learned how to teach meditation, which often included a heavy dose of meditating(ˈmedəˌtāt). My plan was such a success that when my children were almost three, I convinced(kənˈvinst) him that I need to take yet another meditation teacher training course. And so once again, off I went into the world of “om(ōm)” and silence and peace and tranquillity(ˌtraNGˈkwilədē), a blessed(blest,ˈblesid) escape(əˈskāp) from “Mama!” and “Mommy!” and “I need this” and “I don’t like that” and “WAAAAAAHHH.”

Teacher-training wasn’t a vacation(vāˈkāSHən,və-) at the beach, but it often felt that way.

With two meditation teacher-training courses under my belt(belt), the next logical step was to teach meditation. Meditation is a regular tool I’d been using to “reset” myself for well over a decade and I am an avid(ˈavid) believer. So when a local business owner approached me about teaching a class, I readily(ˈredəlē) agreed. Ultimately(ˈəltəmətlē), she convinced(kənˈvinst) me to focus on mindfulness for parenting, as it was something she said she could use herself.

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-how-can-i-parent-mindfully-when-i-get-so-tired-of-being-a-parent/

Achieving(əˈCHēv) Goals by Improving(imˈpro͞ov) Your Character(ˈkerəktər)

By Steve Pavlina

Often a change in character is a crucial(ˈkro͞oSHəl) part of shifting your identity to become more congruent(kənˈgro͞oənt,ˈkäNGgro͞oənt) with your goals and intentions(inˈten(t)SH(ə)n). For example, suppose you want to become more successful in your career(kəˈrir), and you set a goal to reach a certain position. Maybe the main(mān) reason you haven’t yet reached that position is that your character attributes(ˈatrəˌbyo͞ot əˈtriˌbyo͞ot) are out of sync(siNGk) with it. Perhaps you aren’t disciplined(ˈdisəplind) enough, confident(ˈkänfədənt) enough, or resourceful(rəˈsôrsfəl) enough to get there.

Once you can identify the character qualities you’re missing, you can consciously develop them. But as long as you remain in the dark about these deficiencies(dəˈfiSHənsē), it will be tough(təf) to reach your goal because you won’t yet be the kind of person who can achieve it. It’s like trying to lift more weight than your muscles(ˈməsəl) can manage.

Select one of your goals or intentions, especially one where your progress has been disappointing(ˌdisəˈpoin(t)iNG). Now ask yourself if a person with different character attributes would be more capable of achieving this goal than you are. What kind of person would find your goal easy to achieve?

Ask yourself the following questions:

What would a person with more self-esteem(əˈstēm) do in my situation(ˌsiCHəˈwāSH(ə)n)?
What would a person with more courage do in my situation?
What would a person with more self-discipline(ˈdisəplən) do in my situation?
What would a person with more confidence(ˈkänfədəns) do in my situation?
What would a person with more compassion(kəmˈpaSHən) do in my situation?
What would a person with more gratitude(ˈgratəˌt(y)o͞od) do in my situation?
What would a person with more centeredness(ˈsen(t)ərd) do in my situation?
What would a person with more flexibility do in my situation?
What would a person with more curiosity do in my situation?
What would a person with more resourcefulness do in my situation?
What would a person with more wisdom(ˈwizdəm) do in my situation?

…

By asking these questions for each of your goals, you’ll end up with a list of character qualities to develop. By strengthening(ˈstreNG(k)THən) these qualities, you’ll become the kind of person who can and will achieve your goal.

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/01/achieving-goals-by-improving-your-character/

everyone has a story

the stories need to be told

By Henry H. Walker

everyone has a story,
and each of us needs to tell it,
each of us needs for it to be heard,

we can create a persona(pərˈsōnə) for the world
that hides(hīd) the battles(ˈbadl) we fight every day
to be, to do,
to hold to the best
while the worst
works to pull us down,

that best in the other
calls me and I find a way
to hold against the emptiness(ˈem(p)tēnəs)
that passing time can visit upon our stories,

I pull together loose(lo͞os) groups
with enough sharing of time, place, and calling,
so that stories can be told, heard, shared,

each has a story,
we have a story,
the stories need to be told,
the stories need to be heard,
each “I” needs to be,
the “we” needs to be,
and to grow in the telling.

https://henryspoetry.blogspot.com/2019/03/everyone-has-story.html

Too much sunscreen(ˈsənˌskrēn)? Why avoiding the sun could damage your health

For years we have been told to slather(ˈslaT͟Hər) up or seek shade(SHād) to avoid skin cancer. But now it is becoming clear that shunning(SHən) the sun comes with its own health perils(ˈperəl)

By Linda Geddes(gadəs)

SLIP(slip)! Slop(släp)! Slap! As public-health(helTH) campaigns(kamˈpān) go, Cancer Council(ˈkounsəl) Australia’s(ôˈstrālyə,əˈstrāl-) dancing seagull(ˈsēˌgəl) telling people to slip on a shirt(SHərt), slop on some sunscreen and slap on a hat(hat) must rank among the stickiest(ˈstikē) in history. Launched in 1981, it prompted many a devoted(dəˈvōdəd) sun worshipper(ˈwərSHəpər) to reconsider whether a “healthy(ˈhelTHē) tan(tan)” was virtuous(ˈvərCHəwəs), or a herald(ˈherəld) of premature(ˌprēməˈCHo͝or) skin ageing and cancer.

It seems to have been effective: after increasing in the general population for decades, rates(rāt) of the deadliest(ˈdedlē) form of skin cancer, melanoma(ˌmeləˈnōmə), are now falling among Australians(ôˈstrālyən) under the age of 40. “These are people who will have been exposed to the [Slip, Slop, Slap] message for pretty much their whole lives,” says Heather(ˈheT͟Hər) Walker of Cancer Council Australia.

But has this come at a cost? In Australia and worldwide, the prevalence(ˈprevələns) of vitamin(ˈvītəmən) D deficiency(dəˈfiSHənsē) is increasing – and sunscreen has taken much of the blame(blām). Low levels of vitamin D are associated(əˈsōsēˌādid, əˈsōSHēˌādid) with weaker bones and teeth, infections, cardiovascular(ˌkärdēōˈvaskyələr) disease(dəˈzēz) and autoimmune(ˌôdōəˈmyo͞on) and inflammatory(inˈflaməˌtôrē) diseases including multiple(ˈməltəpəl) sclerosis(skləˈrōsəs). And although vitamin D supplements(ˈsəpləmənt) have been touted(tout,to͞o
) as a solution, so far they don’t seem to have the effect that was expected. Now evidence is accumulating(əˈkyo͞om(y)əˌlāt) that sun exposure has benefits beyond vitamin D.

…
https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24132210-100-too-much-sunscreen-why-avoiding-the-sun-could-damage-your-health/