In my 40s, I’m going to worry less and enjoy life more

By Hilary Thorpe

In May I turned 40. My partner, Ty, and I were planning a trip to Europe to celebrate. Instead, in lockdown, he ordered take-out and he and our kids got dressed up, set the table, lit candles and waited on me as though we were in a restaurant.

On the wall behind me, a sign said, “Happy 40th birthday, HILARY!” in rainbow colours, the product of a week of “home-school” in Ty’s woodshop where he had set up our kids with an enormous piece of paper and some paint. They even made my name into an acrostic(əˈkrôstik) poem: Hilarious(həˈlerēəs), Imaginative(iˈmaj(ə)nədiv), Loving, Amazing, Resolute(ˈrezəˌl(y)o͞ot), Yay(yā) mom! (They may have had help with R.)

Birthdays don’t usually bother me, but I had a lot of anxiety leading up to 40. It seemed like an age at which I would know what I was doing. Instead, I’ve failed to achieve most of my goals, both large and small. I did not become a professor. I’m still on a term contract in my job with Parks Canada. I’m only on chapter four of a book I’ve been wanting to write for years. I can’t touch my toes(tō) without bending my knees. I have never been able to do a cartwheel(ˈkärtˌ(h)wēl).

When Ty and I met 20 years ago in a tree-planting camp in Northern Ontario(änˈterēˌō), he was working in Canada in the summers and spending the winters in Guatemala(ˌɡwädəˈmälə). He had built a small house there and thought(THôt) he might stay, live the expat(ˌeksˈpat) life. Instead, after we got together, he went back to school, got a master’s degree, found a real job and got promoted.

Ty never feels like a failure. He had no grand idea of what he would do with his life and it’s turned out better than he expected.

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-in-my-40s-im-going-to-worry-less-and-enjoy-life-more/

juggling(ˈjəɡəl) the balls

be gentle with ourselves

By Henry H. Walker

I send out an email to the wrong group
in a hope to help them remember the schedule
and get to class via Zoom,
all this while I work to get the students on the screen
managing an assignment I need,
one where they can sum up what they’ve learned
and how they feel about the process,
when tardy(ˈtärdē) students check in,
I actually thank them for reminding me
that all of us can make mistakes,
for helping me feel not so bad about my own email mistake,
I seek to express that they, and I, are but human,
in a world that seems to challenge us to be superhuman,
first juggling at all, then tossed(tôs) ball after ball
and expected to keep them all in the air at the same time,

through my long nights I fear the balls I might drop,
the times I might not be there for my students,

the imposter(imˈpästər) in me watches my colleagues,
intimidated(inˈtiməˌdāt) by every technological(ˌteknəˈläjək(ə)l) hoop
each seems to master with ease,

I search through the juggled and dropped balls
and look to see the individual young person
whose worth is infinite, whose effort is extraordinary(ikˈstrôrd(ə)nˌerē),
and who just can’t quite keep all the balls in the air,
I work to just support them and their effort,

I caution(ˈkôSH(ə)n) myself, my colleagues, and my students,
to be gentle with ourselves,
and appreciate how well we are doing,
despite how much we fear that we should be doing even more.

https://henryspoetry.blogspot.com/2020/10/juggling-balls.html

Delegate(ˈdeləɡət), but don’t abdicate(ˈabdəˌkāt)

By Derek Sivers

Delegation doesn’t come naturally to any of us. But I was trying really hard to be good at it. I knew how important it was to get into the delegation mindset. I was trying to empower my employees — to let them know they could make decisions on their own, without me.

When they asked, “How should we organize all the rooms in the new office?” I said, “Any way you want to do it is fine.”

When they asked, “Which health-care plan should we go with?” I said, “You guys choose. Take a vote(vōt). Whichever one you choose, I’ll pay for.”

When they asked, “Which profit-sharing plan should we go with?” I said, “You guys choose. Whatever you think is best.”

A local magazine voted CD Baby “Best Place to Work” in the state of Oregon(ˈôrəɡən, ˈôrəˌɡän).

Six months later, my accountant(əˈkount(ə)nt) called me and said, “Did you know that your employees set up a profit-sharing program?”

I said, “Yeah. Why?”

He said, “Did you know that they’re giving all of the profits of the company back to themselves?”

Oops.

When I cancelled the profit-sharing program, I became a very unpopular guy. In our weekly company meetings, the general message from the employees was, “We need to get Derek out of here, so he stops telling us what to do. We don’t need to answer to him! He needs to answer to us!”

Then I realized that there’s such a thing as over-delegation. I had empowered my employees so much that I gave them all the power. After a complete communication breakdown, it was 85 people (my employees) against one (me). I became the scapegoat(ˈskāpˌɡōt) for all of their dissatisfactions(di(s)ˌsadəsˈfakSH(ə)n).

I thought of trying to repair relationships with each of the 85 employees, over hundreds of hours of talking. But if you’ve ever had a romance(rōˈmans) break up, you know that sometimes it’s beyond repair.

So I considered firing everyone and hiring a whole new crew. I also considered shutting down the company entirely, since I wasn’t enjoying this anymore. I even considered a Willy Wonka move, where I’d put five golden(ˈɡōldən) tickets into five CDs and then give the whole company to some lucky finder.

In the end, I did what was best for my clients and me: I retreated into solitude, staying at a friend’s house in London, and focused entirely on programming some major new software features for CD Baby.

I never saw or spoke to my employees again. Never saw the office again.

I learned an important word: abdicate. To abdicate means to surrender(səˈrendər) or relinquish(rəˈliNGkwiSH) power or responsibility. This word is usually used when a king abdicates the throne(THrōn) or crown.

Lesson learned too late: Delegate, but don’t abdicate.

https://sive.rs/abdicate

Election Live Updates: With Votes Still Being Counted, an Anxious Nation Awaits a Winner

Presidential election hangs in the balance, and the nation braces(brās) for a period of uncertainty.

By Mark Landler

The morning after a chaotic(kāˈädik), suspenseful(səˈspensf(ə)l) Election Day, Americans awoke on Wednesday to the specter(ˈspektər) of hours or even days of uncertainty ahead, as several states counted millions of ballots(ˈbalət) in razor(ˈrāzər)-thin contests that could tip the balance to President Trump or former Vice President Joseph(ˈjōzəf, ˈjōsəf) R. Biden Jr.

After a long election night rife(rīf) with dramatic(drəˈmadik) twists(twist) and victories(ˈvikt(ə)rē) by both candidates, Mr. Trump and Mr. Biden battled to a near draw in electoral(əˈlekt(ə)rəl) votes, each several dozen votes shy(SHī) of the 270 needed to capture the presidency.

The field of battle had dwindled(ˈdwindl) to a trio(ˈtrēō) of northern(ˈnôrT͟Hərn) states — Pennsylvania(ˌpensəlˈvānyə), Michigan(ˈmiSHiɡən) and Wisconsin(wəˈskänsən) — that vaulted(ˈvôltəd) Mr. Trump to victory(ˈvikt(ə)rē) over Hillary Clinton in 2016, as well as Arizona(ˌerəˈzōnə) and Nevada(nəˈvadə, nəˈvädə), where Mr. Biden had narrow(ˈnerō) leads, and Georgia(ˈjôrjə), where he trailed(trāl) but was gaining ground with every vote counted. Mr. Trump prematurely(ˌprēməˈCHo͝orlē) declared victory and said he would petition(pəˈtiSH(ə)n) the Supreme(so͞oˈprēm) Court to demand a halt(hôlt) to the counting. Mr. Biden urged his supporters — and by implication, Mr. Trump — to show patience and allow the process to play out.

Their dueling(ˈd(y)o͞oəl), post-midnight appearances captured the raw struggle of a contest that many feared would leap from the campaign trail to the courts, as Mr. Trump’s lawyers(ˈloiər) readied(ˈredē) legal(ˈlēɡəl) maneuvers(məˈno͞ovər).

The president’s statement, delivered in the White House, amounted to a reckless(ˈrekləs) attack on the democratic(ˌdeməˈkradik) process during a time of deep anxiety and division in the country. Mr. Biden, speaking from a flag-draped stage(stāj) in Wilmington(ˈwilmiNGtən), Del., appealed(əˈpēl) for calm and tried to reassure(ˌrēəˈSHo͝or) supporters rattled(ˈradl) by a vote that was much closer than the pollsters(ˈpōlstər) or political(pəˈlidək(ə)l) analysts(ˈanələst) had predicted.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/live/2020/11/04/us/trump-biden-election

Election Day 2020

By 王渊源John

Election Day each year in the United States is “the Tuesday next after the first Monday in the month of November”. Today is Wednesday as I post this in Beijing, but it’s still Election Day in the US, and we don’t know for sure what the results will be.

Four years ago on Election Day, I drove with my family from Philadelphia(ˌfiləˈdelfēə), PA, to Middletown, CT, where I went to university. The day before, we had visited the site in downtown Philadelphia where Hillary(ˈhilərē) Clinton was to hold her final rally(ˈralē) of the 2016 campaign(kamˈpān).

We arrived in Middletown after dark and checked into our hotel. My wife and our son were tired and quickly fell asleep. I sat on the edge of the hotel bed and watched the election coverage on television with the sound turned down low enough that it didn’t disturb(dəˈstərb) their sleep.

I was shocked as the results came in and it slowly become clear that Donald Trump was going to be the next president. I had known that the race was close, but the polls showed Hillary Clinton ahead, and I had refused to believe that my country would elect someone like Donald Trump.

Who did I think Donald Trump was? Someone who exploited(ikˈsploit) divisions(dəˈviZHən) for his own personal gain. Someone who cared about nothing more than himself. Someone who did not have a clear understanding of national or international governance(ˈɡəvərnəns). Someone to whom the truth didn’t matter. I may not have agreed with Hillary Clinton on every policy matter, but I believed that she cared about every American. I may have disagreed with previous presidents on even more policy matters, but I also believed that they cared for every American.

I didn’t feel that about Donald Trump, and nothing about the past four years has changed my mind. In some ways his presidency(ˈprez(ə)dənsē) hasn’t been as catastrophic(ˌkadəˈsträfik) as I feared; in some ways it has been worse. Running through it all: I do not believe he cares for other people, I do not believe he cares for the truth, and I believe that he stokes(stōks) division among Americans for personal gain.

This year, the polls look better, but I am frightened(ˈfrītnd). I worry that another four years of a Trump presidency will damage my country in ways that may not be repairable(rəˈperəbəl). I worry that he will cause lasting rifts(rift) between countries across the world that will damage the project and ideal of the peaceful development of humanity. Maybe that sounds like hyperbole(hīˈpərbəlē), but it’s the way I see it.

I’ll be glued(ɡlo͞o) to the computer this morning, frightened but hopeful. Frightened that my country will again elect someone that I do not think has our best interests at heart. Hopeful that Joe Biden will be elected to be the next president of the United States. No matter what happens, there is a long road ahead.

My 2020 Election Prediction(prəˈdikSH(ə)n)

By Steve Pavlina

Here’s my prediction for the U.S. election, which is just 4 days away… and also some predictions for what I think will happen in the months after that.

I expect that Biden is going to win by a landslide(ˈlan(d)ˌslīd) and that it’s not even going to be close.

Yes, Trump and the Republicans(rəˈpəbləkən) will continue doing their best to suppress the vote, especially in the swing(swiNG) states, but I don’t think it’s going to make enough of a difference to change the election outcome. The fact that they’re doing this at such an unprecedented(ˌənˈpresədən(t)əd) scale(skāl) is a sign of incredible desperation(ˌdespəˈrāSH(ə)n). Even with such overt(ōˈvərt) attempts to cheat(CHēt), I don’t think those efforts will be nearly enough to tilt(tilt) the election away from a massive(ˈmasiv) Biden win. If anything I think that stooping so low is backfiring by riling(rīl) up even more people to vote for Biden – and to vote earlier than they otherwise would have.

It’s understandable(ˌəndərˈstandəb(ə)l) that after the 2016 election, a lot of people are feeling trepidatious(ˌtrepəˈdāSHəs), like they’re still suffering from PTSD after having endured four years of such monumental(ˌmänyəˈmen(t)l) stupidity(st(y)o͞oˈpidədē) and insanity(inˈsanədē). People don’t want to get their hopes up this time till they know the outcome for sure. They’re wondering if the polls that show a massive Biden lead are accurate(ˈakyərət) enough to be trusted this time.

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2020/10/my-2020-election-prediction/

Undecided Voters(ˈvōdər) Could Still Decide the Election(əˈlekSH(ə)n). They Tend to Dislike Trump.

About one in 10 voters could still be considered “volatile(ˈvälədl),” half the number as at this point in 2016, but this time around, most of them have an unfavorable(ˌənˈfāv(ə)rəb(ə)l) opinion of Donald J. Trump.

By Giovanni Russonello

John Holland(ˈhälənd), 74, is proud to call himself a political(pəˈlidək(ə)l) independent, and he has always made a point of voting for the candidate he prefers, not a party to which he had sworn(swôrn) allegiance(əˈlējəns). In mid-October he told a New York Times/Siena(sēˈenə) College poll(pōl) he wasn’t yet won over by either President Trump or Joseph(ˈjōzəf, ˈjōsəf) R. Biden Jr.

Ultimately(ˈəltəmətlē), Mr. Holland, a retired education-technology professional in Minnesota(ˌminəˈsōdə), did choose, and like many late-deciding voters, he said his choice emerged “from a values point of view.”

“I said, ‘Would I want President Trump to be the grandfather of any one of my grandchildren?’ And the answer was no,” he said this week, explaining that he had donned(dän) a mask and walked to an early polling site to cast a ballot(ˈbalət) for Mr. Biden.

Four years ago, voters like Mr. Holland — leery(ˈlirē) of both major-party candidates, undecided until the 11th hour and guided by their gut(ɡət) more than by policy(ˈpäləsē) — decided the election. This year, polling shows far fewer undecided voters remain, but in close battleground states they could still be pivotal(ˈpivədl).

And while voters who were negative on both major candidates in 2016 broke big for Mr. Trump as the “lesser(ˈlesər) of two evils(ˈēvəl),” particularly in the Midwest, they appear generally disinclined(ˌdisənˈklīnd) to do so again.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/30/us/politics/undecided-voters-trump.html

The Learning of the Dip

By Leo Babauta

There’s so much to learn in the habit dip (and all other dips of motivation(ˌmōdəˈvāSH(ə)n) & focus):

How to face difficulty instead of avoiding it
How to encourage yourself when you feel discouraged
How to let go of the ideal you have that’s making you feel discouraged
How to deal with your difficult emotions of frustration, discouragement, fear
How to nourish(ˈnəriSH) yourself when you’re feeling depleted(dəˈplēt)
How to give yourself compassion when you feel you’re doing something wrong
How to not run for your usual methods of control, avoidance(əˈvoidəns), quitting when things are hard
How to practice letting go of your usual focus on your self-concern

This is just some of what’s there. There’s so much more. It’s incredibly rich, if you learn to open up to the dip.

The Dip is Temporary, if You Keep Going

Habit and motivation dips are always temporary. Everyone who has run a marathon(ˈmerəˌTHän) or ultramathon(ˈəltrəˌmerəˌTHän) knows what it’s like to want to quit, to get bored(bôrd) with training, to feel discouraged when things are hard. And so many of us who’ve faced that have finished the marathon!

We’ve all given up when things are discouraging. We’ve all avoided even thinking about getting back on track when we’ve been thrown off the track. We’ve all messed up on projects and goals and habits. We’re human!

But if we get back on track, if we encourage ourselves when things are dark, if we find compassion for ourselves when we’re not living up to our made-up ideals … there’s more available down the road.

Everything is temporary, even failure, even success, even getting off track. These are not the end points, they’re waypoints. Keep going.

https://zenhabits.net/dipped/

About Cabana(kəˈban(y)ə)

Enabling(enˈāb(ə)l) serendipity(ˌserənˈdipədē), wonder, and adventure(adˈven(t)SHər)

In 2019, we set out to pave(pāv) the way for a new travel experience. What if you could bring your hotel room with you? How much stress would be avoided if you could book your hotel and car in one reservation(ˌrezərˈvāSH(ə)n)? How would it change travel if you had the ability to make and change plans on the fly without cancelling reservations?

And, could we really design a campervan(ˈkampər) that is as good or better than a hotel room?

The design philosophy is the core of our brand promise.

Simple. We made complicated systems easy. It shouldn’t take you 20 minutes to learn how to use every electrical(əˈlektrək(ə)l) or water system.

Smart. Small spaces get cluttered quickly and people travel with luggage(ˈləɡij). We designed storage solutions to keep your stuff neat(nēt) and tidy(ˈtīdē) to free up more space.

Plush(pləSH). Every challenge is an opportunity, we didn’t settle for just okay. The same high-end amenities(əˈmenədē) you’d expect from a hotel room are packed into a smaller space without sacrificing(ˈsakrəˌfīs) comfort.

Familiar(fəˈmilyər). No steep(stēp) learning curves(kərv) here, it should drive more like a car and park like it, too (the backup(ˈbakˌəp) cameras(ˈkam(ə)rə) were a must).

Reliable(rəˈlīəb(ə)l). You’re here for the experience–your trip shouldn’t be interrupted by broken systems or the power being out. Each van(van) is serviced and sanitized(ˈsaniˌtīzd) to ensure a consistent experience. Our team works 24/7 for in-trip needs.

Automated(ˈôdəˌmādəd). We want to put trip planning back in your hands. This is why we developed a counterless-check in process and prioritized accessibility. We know that good stuff can happen on the fly.

https://cabana.life/aboutus

We all have hidden prejudices(ˈprejədəs) – here’s how to override them

Confronting(kənˈfrənt) our unconscious(ˌənˈkänSHəs) biases(ˈbīəs) requires concerted(kənˈsərdəd) effort(ˈefərt). Fortunately(ˈfôrCH(ə)nətlē), there are simple things everyone can do to avoid the cognitive(ˈkäɡnədiv) shortcuts that underpin them

By Pragya Agarwal

We are still getting to grips(ɡrip) with the most effective ways to identify and address bias. What is clear is that it is a difficult task that requires concerted, consistent(kənˈsistənt) effort. But there are strategies that make a difference.

A first step is to make biases visible. This can include taking the Implicit(imˈplisit) Association Test to raise(rāz) awareness, but this needs to be complemented(ˈkämpləmənt) by active reflection – including recognising(ˈrekəɡˌnīz) triggers for bias and examining(iɡˈzamən) how our life experiences have shaped our biases.

Research has shown that using blind(blīnd) or anonymised(əˈnänəˌmīz) hiring practices may help weaken biases that can limit opportunities for women and minority(məˈnôrədē) groups. One study found that using blind auditions(ôˈdiSH(ə)n) increased the likelihood(ˈlīklēˌho͝od) that women musicians were hired by an orchestra(ˈôrkəstrə) by up to 46 per cent. Research in France, Germany, Sweden and the Netherlands has showed that removing names from applications increases the likelihood that candidates(ˈkandiˌdāt) from minority groups will be invited to interview.

We can tackle(ˈtak(ə)l) generalised(ˈjen(ə)rəˌlīz) assumptions(əˈsəm(p)SH(ə)n) by being clear that a particular attribute is associated with an individual rather than their whole group, for example “This boy is good at maths”. This approach can help to diminish(dəˈminiSH) stereotypes(ˈsterēəˌtīp) and the pressure to conform to them.

Taking our time with important decisions can also help us avoid cognitive shortcuts that perpetuate(pərˈpeCHəˌwāt) bias. When this isn’t possible, rehearsing(rəˈhərs) reactions to high stress situations can help prevent biased snap decisions, research with police(pəˈlēs) has shown.

…
https://www.newscientist.com/article/2252873-we-all-have-hidden-prejudices-heres-how-to-override-them/