I pay my kids to get dressed, do homework and more. It’s the best decision I ever made.

I pay my kids to get dressed(dres), do homework and more. It’s the best decision I ever made.

By Gia Miller

“Please get dressed — we have to leave in five minutes,” I pleaded(plēd) for the 20th time, my patience(ˈpāSHəns) waning(wān). “You still need to brush your teeth. You haven’t packed your backpack! We’re going to be late for school, again.”

This was a typical(ˈtipikəl) weekday(ˈwēkˌdā) morning in my home last year. Unfortunately(ˌənˈfôrCHənətlē), my first- and third-graders(ˈgrādər) couldn’t seem to grasp(grasp) the morning routine(ro͞oˈtēn). All three of us have attention-deficit(ˈdefəsit)/hyperactivity disorder, and we struggle with time management and executive(eg-,igˈzekyətiv) functioning. As a result, my kids were late to school — a lot.

During the last month of school, when I was at my wit’s(wit) end, the principal(ˈprinsəpəl) called me in to discuss my kids’ excessive(ikˈsesiv) tardiness(ˈtärdēnəs), and I knew something had to change. Fortunately, she was understanding, and I left the meeting with the beginning of an idea. By the first day of school this year, I had completely(kəmˈplētlē) transformed our lives — the mornings and the evenings.

“Positive reinforcement(ˌrē-inˈfôrsmənt
) is reinforcing a positive behavior with a positive response, which makes the behavior more likely to happen in the future,” says Lauren Mosback, a behavioral(biˈhāvyərəl) specialist(ˈspeSHəlist). “That can look like anything from verbal(ˈvərbəl) praise(prāz) and encouragement to offering a tangible(ˈtanjəbəl) reward.”

I do both. I praise my kids for a variety(vəˈrīətē) of simple things they do well and reward them with money for behaviors I’m shaping. For example, whenever my kids listen right away or do something well, I praise them. But I also use personalized responsibility charts so they can be at scho
ol on time. As they complete(kəmˈplēt) tasks, they check them off and earn money.

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2018/12/10/i-pay-my-kids-get-dressed-do-homework-more-its-best-decision-i-ever-made/