Fear of Success: What Will Happen if You Succeed?

Fear(fi(ə)r) of Success: What Will Happen if You Succeed(səkˈsēd)?

By Steve Pavlina

Sometimes you find yourself with a goal you think you should want to achieve, but you just don’t seem to be taking enough action to reach it. You aren’t really afraid(əˈfrād) of failure(ˈfālyər) or rejection, the path to the goal seems clear enough and might even be an interesting challenge, and occasionally(əˈkāZHənl-ē) you’ll make some progress. But most of the time you can’t seem to get into that flow state, and you’re not sure why. This often happens with long-term goals that require intermittent(ˌintərˈmitnt) action, like losing(lo͞oz) weight(wāt) or transitioning to start a new business and eventually quit(kwit) your job.

One question I’ve found helpful to ask in these situations is this: What will happen if you succeed(səkˈsēd)? Forget about what you hope will happen or what you fear might happen, but realistically(ˌrēəˈlistik(ə)lē) consider what probably(ˈpräbəblē) will happen. So you achieve your goal. Then what? What else will change?

I’m not talking about giving a 5-second cursory(ˈkərsərē) answer, like “If I lose the weight, then I’ll be thin(THin).” Set aside at least 15-30 minutes just to think about how your life will really change once you achieve your goal (with no TV, radio, or other distractions(disˈtrakSHən)). There are often unexpected side effects(əˈfekt) that you may not be aware of consciously, but subconsciously they can be enough to prevent you from taking committed(kəˈmitid) action. For example, if you lose a lot of weight, here are some possible side effects: people will notice and will comment(ˈkämˌent) about it, other people will ask you for diet(ˈdī-it) advice, you may feel you need to continue with a permanent(ˈpərmənənt) lifestyle change to maintain(mānˈtān) your new weight, you may need to buy new clothes(klō(T͟H)z), you may become more attractive(əˈtraktiv) to others and thereby attract more social encounters (wanted or unwanted), overweight friends might become jealous(ˈjeləs), your family may resist(riˈzist) your changes, you may feel stressed about whether you can keep the weight off, you may worry about the loss of certain favorite foods from your diet, and so on.

It’s rare(re(ə)r) that a goal is all roses(rōz). Success requires change, and change has both positive and negative(ˈnegətiv) consequences(ˈkänsikwəns). Often while people claim to want to succeed at something, the reality is that the negatives outweigh the positives for them. But one way to overcome this problem is to consciously think about what those negatives are, and then uproot(ˌəpˈro͞ot) them one by one. Uprooting a negative side effect could mean figuring out how to eliminate(iˈliməˌnāt) it completely(kəmˈplētlē), or it could mean just accepting(əkˈsept) it and learning to live with it.

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https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/12/fear-of-success-what-will-happen-if-you-succeed/