Empty nest syndrome is hitting me twice as hard

Empty nest syndrome(ˈsinˌdrōm) is hitting me twice as hard

By Ann Gibbon(ˈgibən)

It had been a Thanksgiving like so many others through the years. The table was adorned(əˈdôrn) with paper-turkey(ˈtərkē) decorations(ˌdekəˈrāSHən) the kids had made in grade(grād) school, Grandpa told bad jokes and we all overdid it on the pumpkin(ˈpəNGkən,ˈpəm(p)kən) pie(pī).

What made this year’s gathering(ˈgaT͟HəriNG) different, though, was that my kids were home for their first family gathering since starting university in September. As I cleared the table, listening to their excited(ikˈsītid) chatter(ˈCHatər) about dorm(dôrm) life, new friends and stimulating(ˈstimyəˌlātiNG) ideas, I felt a pull of sadness. In a few days, they’d be off again.

I’m a mom of twins, and their departure(dəˈpärCHər) from my day-to-day has hurled(hərl) me abruptly(əˈbrəptlē) from active(ˈaktiv) parent to empty nester in an emotional(iˈmōSHənəl) one-two punch. When they first left for university, the house became oddly(ˈädlē) quiet(ˈkwīət) for the first time in almost 18 years. When friends ask me how I am adjusting, I joke that the house has never been neater and I always know where my car is.

The truth is, I’ve been thrown off balance a bit. I’d been dreading(dred) their departure for college. It lurked(lərk) in my mind through the years, a tiny(ˈtīnē) black dot that grew larger as they got older, more independent and more prepared to start the next phase(fāz).

Raising(rāz) twins, particularly(pə(r)ˈtikyələrlē) in the intense(inˈtens) early years, was such a fog(fäg,fôg) of doing everything that needed doing, two times around, that I didn’t think much about that day they’d leave to be on their own. I was too busy.

From the moment we brought my son and daughter home from the hospital, placing their tiny, swaddled(ˈswädl) forms side by side in a single crib(krib), my husband and I muddled(ˈmədld) through the messy(ˈmesē), exhausting(igˈzôstiNG) and exhilarating(igˈziləˌrātiNG) terrain(təˈrān) of taking care of two babies at once.

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https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-empty-nest-syndrome-is-hitting-me-twice-as-hard/