It’s Not a Problem, It’s an Experience

It’s Not a Problem, It’s an Experience(ikˈspi(ə)rēəns)

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely(kəmˈplētlē) awake is to be continually(kənˈtinyo͞oəlē) thrown out of the nest(nest).” ~Pema Chodron

By Leo Babauta

Life has its down periods(ˈpi(ə)rēəd): your boss is unhappy with you, your business is struggling(ˈstrəgəl), you get into a fight(fīt) with the love of your life, your finances(fəˈnans,ˈfīnans) are tight(tīt), you aren’t getting good sleep, you get sick or have chronic(ˈkränik) pain.

Our way of dealing with this is usually to do one or more of the following:

Get away from the problem — quit(kwit) your job, break up with your partner, or stop caring. Anything you can do to exit(ˈegzit,ˈeksit).

Ignore(igˈnôr) the problem — just don’t think about it. Pretend(priˈtend) nothing’s wrong. Think about anything else.

Comfort yourself — drink, smoke, food, TV, Internet, porn, social media, games. Anything to take your mind off the difficulties.

Complain — lash(laSH) out at someone, rant(rant), moan(mōn) about it to a friend, feel resentful(riˈzentfəl), tell yourself that the other person is the problem (because they are, right?!).

There’s nothing wrong with any of these things. Don’t feel guilty(ˈgiltē) if you do them. Sometimes, they can be soothing(ˈso͞oT͟HiNG) or helpful. Talking to someone about your problems, for example, is a good idea. Giving yourself some rest so that you are better prepared to take on the world’s problems … that’s not a bad idea too.

But trying to avoid the problem, exit from it, or even comfort yourself — these have limited effectiveness(iˈfektivnis). We know that by now, because despite(diˈspīt) our best efforts, the down times keep happening. We get in a slump(sləmp), we get miserable(ˈmiz(ə)rəbəl), we feel down.

Here’s a mental(ˈmentl) shift that might help: when you’re feeling hurt, sad, angry, overburdened … think of it not as a problem, but as an experience.

Fully feel whatever pain or sadness or anger you’re feeling.

Stop avoiding it and just feel it. Truly allow yourself to feel it.

And as you feel it, don’t think of the difficult feeling as a problem you need to solve. A thing you need to get rid(rid) of. Think of it as an experience you’re having.

It’s not a problem, it’s an experience.

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https://zenhabits.net/noprob/