A Calm Motto(ˈmätō)

A Calm Motto(ˈmätō)

By Leo Babauta

I recently offered this motto to my 18-year-old daughter, when she was stressing out about a situation(ˌsiCHo͞oˈāSHən) she was facing:

“No big deal(dēl).”

I told her, “Just remember NBD. No Big Deal.”

Remind(riˈmīnd) yourself of this motto whenever things are going wrong, or someone is frustrating(ˈfrəsˌtrāt) you, or you aren’t getting what you want. No big deal.

Of course, there are some things that are a big deal:

Life & death or emergency(iˈmərjənsē) situations
When a loved one really needs your help
I’m sure there are other situations that are a big deal, but most of the time, it’s not as big a deal as we imagine(iˈmajən). We add stress(stres) unnecessarily(ˌnesəˈse(ə)rəlē) to the situation.

You have a million things to do an not enough time to do it all? Not a big deal: pick the things you can do, and get to work. That’s all you can do anyway, so it’s not worth adding some stress to the already difficult situation.

Have a huge task to do that is going to be very difficult? No big deal. Just take the first step. Just get moving. You’ll deal with the difficulty.

Plans fall apart? No big deal. Figure(ˈfigyər) out a new alternative(ôlˈtərnətiv).

Someone unhappy with you? No big deal. See their pain(pān), give them some compassion(kəmˈpaSHən), take the appropriate(əˈproʊpriət) action to help fix(fiks) things or go on about your business if it can’t be fixed.

There’s another way to look at it, of course: everything is a big deal. What we do matters. And in this way, instead of just letting ourselves be distracted(disˈtraktəd) or taking things for granted(ˈgrantid), we can give the act in front of us our full attention(əˈtenCHən) and love.

That doesn’t mean we need to get upset or stressed out about our situation though: while the act in front of us is a big deal, the situation is not a big deal. Life goes on. And it is delightfully(diˈlītfəl) beautiful(ˈbyo͞otəfəl).

https://zenhabits.net/becalm/