Beating(ˈbētiNG) Yourself Up

Beating(ˈbētiNG) Yourself Up

By Steve Pavlina

A common mistake for personal growth newbies(ˈn(y)o͞obē) is to wrap(rap) one’s self-esteem(iˈstēm) into short-term results. This often leads to self-blame(blām) and excess(ikˈses,ˈekses) worry when results are below expectations(ˌekspekˈtāSHən).

If we use the lenses(lenz) of truth, love, and power (our fundamental(ˌfəndəˈmentl) growth principles), we can see why beating yourself up for mistakes and failure(ˈfālyər) is an ineffective(ˈiniˈfektiv) approach that doesn’t actually help you grow(grō).

The Truth Lens

When viewed through the truth lens, we can readily(ˈredl-ē) see why beating ourselves up for mistakes will only make things worse(wərs). Since all input serves(sərv) as a form of programming for our brains(brān), it’s predictable(priˈdiktəbəl) that negative(ˈnegətiv) self-talk, especially(iˈspeSHəlē) when it becomes habitual(həˈbiCHo͞oəl), will serve to lower our future performance. We’re essentially(iˈsenSHəlē) programming ourselves to perform poorly(ˈpo͝orlē,ˈpôr-) when we use negative self-talk. We behave like a computer that installs(inˈstôl) a virus(ˈvīrəs) to slow itself down.

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The Love Lens

Consider the consequences(-ˌkwens,ˈkänsikwəns) to your overall happiness if you fall into the habit of beating yourself up for mistakes. Does it make you any happier to wrap negative results into your self-image(ˈimij)? What does thinking of yourself as a failure do for your emotional(iˈmōSHənəl) life? More often than not, such thinking will invite negative emotions like fear(fi(ə)r), worry, and stress(stres).

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The Power Lens

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Isn’t it more empowering(emˈpou(-ə)r) to believe that you’re always doing your best? You can continue to learn, grow, and improve, but for right now, why not just accept that you’re doing the best you can? If you could have done better, you would have.

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The more mistakes and failure you can handle without loss(läs,lôs) of self-esteem, the faster you can grow, and the grander and more expansive your growth experiences(ikˈspi(ə)rēəns) can be.

https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2018/02/beating-yourself-up/